


Astronomy in Reverse

by reyisgey



Series: Astronomy in Reverse [1]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015), Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: F/F, Reysma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-27
Updated: 2017-12-05
Packaged: 2018-08-12 08:52:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 43,672
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7928488
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/reyisgey/pseuds/reyisgey
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Luke's refusal to help the Resistance comes as a shock to them all, but not all hope is lost as the Resistance has managed to get their hands on the Commander of the First Order Stormtroopers. Rey struggles with her new abilities and without a teacher, her self-confidence is plummeting as she starts to believe the Resistance has no need for her or for the Jedi anymore.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. With Golden String

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not well-versed in the Star Wars Universe and this is my first fanfic after many years so feedback would be much appreciated, thanks! Also, the fic will be updated every other week.

Dirt laced boots clunked against the metal ramp, dried mud being kicked off with every step until Rey finally set foot on D’Qar once again. It had been over two weeks since she had left. Various Resistance pilots gave their greetings as they passed by but their words fell on deaf ears. Rey's eyebrows remained furrowed, the corner of her lips falling down. Eyes focused on nothing in particular as she remained frozen in her steps. Her hands, which remained at her side, were in fists, trembling from the intensity they were being clenched. No one walking by had noticed and she was hoping no one would.

A heavy arm set on her shoulders and she jumped slightly, a blink ultimately tearing her from her thoughts as her hands relaxed and her face softened. A soft growl came from Chewie and she offered a weak smile in return. It wasn’t enough to fool him, but enough to let him know she was trying to be optimistic. That was all he was asking. Maybe they had been traveling for too long and all they needed was a sleep for a while.

“Yeah, yeah you're right.”

Seemingly satisfied with her response, Chewbacca lowered his arm and continued walking, R2D2 at his side, heading toward the entrance of the base. She watched the two of them for a moment, having developed a bond between Chewie that she hadn’t anticipated. Yet, she couldn’t look at him without remembering Han’s death.

A greeting caught Rey's attention and she turned, giving a close lipped smile in their direction as she adjusted the bag on her shoulder and started walking. Her bag felt heavy with the lightsaber in it, heavier than it ever felt before. She set a hand against the pouch, preventing it from moving around as she walked. Her hand obscured a good part of it from view, as if not wanting to bring attention to it. The automatic doors slid open in her presence and she continued walking, heading further inside the base. Rey was incredibly thankful no one stopped her to try and make conversation.

She was quick to get through the command center, half expecting to pass the General and her chest tightened at the thought. Now wasn’t the best time to talk to Leia, not with the news she carried with her. With a lowered head, she glanced around but Leia was nowhere to be found, but everyone around seemed busy and didn’t spot Rey. She then quickly crossed the crowded room, nervously pushing back rebellious strands of hair, holding her breath until she got to an empty hallway.

She looked both ways, not knowing where either passage led, but she knew she needed to be alone at the moment. In Jakku it was easy, but here, the constant presence of people was proving to be stifling for someone who had been alone for a large part of her life. Hearing footsteps coming from the left she continued on to the right, walking faster as she just made her own path, eventually walking down a flight of stairs.

Rey had never gotten the chance to explore the base; she had only been given a day after her return from Starkiller Base when she had to leave once more in search of Luke, but had heard of the maintenance level being below the hanger and she believed she was headed in that direction. Despite the prospect of running into people, she continued walking down the corridor, the silence becoming eerie. There were large windows allowing one to peer in the rooms but all Rey saw were empty and unlit spaces, maybe an outline of a table? The light from the corridor didn't give much brilliance to be able to make out what was inside and painted everything with a blue hue. The door to these rooms all were outlined with a red glow, Rey wondered if that meant they were locked. They appeared to be sliding doors and she looked at the control panels which displayed a screen with various options. She was about to touch one but heard the hiss of an unlatched door and the low rumble of a male voice.

Unsure where it was coming from she continued walking, turning on a curve that brought two people into view standing outside a room. Rey debated turning around but they immediately turned their attention to her as her boots were thudding against the metal flooring. Captain Cypress straightened at the sight of Rey and gave a small smile, beckoning her to come over as an unfamiliar Resistance member stood near him at attention.

“Rey, you've arrived. Has the General been informed?” His tone was chipper, not at all bothered by Rey’s appearance in this level of the base.

She only gave a slow nod, looking toward the Resistance member at the Captain’s side. He didn’t look her in the eyes, he looked over her head, body tense as he held his hands behind his back. He wore a uniform that she had never seen before, but the Resistance symbol was emblazoned on the corner of his chest.

Her eyes then turned to something more interesting. Their door was outlined with a green glow this time and Rey was interested in the contents of the room as she saw light coming from the glass. Just what was happening down here? Were they meeting rooms? She must have counted at least five on each side so far, seemed like a lot of rooms to be meeting in.

“Ah, Rey?” Captain Cypress inquired as she leaned to the right to get a better view before deciding to walk up to the glass herself.

Her name was called again but she didn't bother turning once she saw what was inside. The room was white, almost blindingly so. Everything was pure white. A white table was placed in the middle, Rey saw a chair facing her direction, as if it had been pushed back, it was empty but across from it was an occupied one. Rey had no clue who it was, but they had their hands on top of the table and stared down at their lap. Despite some stringy blonde strands having dropped down to their face, Rey could see the wrinkle between their brows and she stepped closer, now making out wounds on their face, but they weren't fresh.

The fact that they were wearing a black outfit only made them stand out even more and Rey only turned away from the sight of them to ask, “Who is that?”

Captain Cypress stepped forward, clasping his hands in front of himself as he walked. He had picked his chin up and then stood before Rey with his chest puffed out, composed and confident. Rey had to admit she thought he was going to be angry with her.

“That is the commander of the First Order’s stormtroopers.” He couldn’t hide the smile begging to be let out. He was very proud of who he had in that room.

Rey's eyebrows shot up at the reveal and she looked back to the window, unable to believe who was in there. She’d yet to hear of this person from Finn, but she could only imagine what awful things the commanding officer of the stormtroopers had done to Finn.

“Captain Phasma, she's called. We were given wind of her location on a planet, the locals, to put it lightly, were startled by her presence. The First Order had just left her there, for dead. Her armor was damaged, but we managed to stabilize her. She woke up about a couple of days ago and is scheduled for a departure to the Republic who are more equipped for dealing with enemy troops. We've been trying to get her to talk, but it hasn't been effective. Hopefully we’ll get something out of her once she speaks to them.”

Staring at her, Rey’s fists started to ball into fists once again. This was the woman who ordered Finn to do terrible to things, the woman who had ordered many stormtroopers to terrible things. The implication of interrogation brought back memories of her experience with Kylo Ren and how he… how he forced himself into her mind. The frustration she felt upon returning to D-Qar without Luke, the rejection, the need to remind herself she was capable of something that she was a force to be reckoned with. It all began to rise to the surface.

“I can get her to talk,” was all Rey said, having been flooded with anger at the woman who had done horrible acts in the name of the First Order.

“Rey, no!” She heard but didn't listen as the doors slid open in her presence.

They didn't follow her in. Maybe they wanted to see what she would do or maybe they went to get General Organa. Whatever it was it didn't matter at the moment. Rey was focused on Phasma, angry at her, yet there was more to it than anger that she had not yet realized.

At her entrance, Phasma looked up, her hardened face momentarily softening with recognition.

“You remember me?”

Following her challenging words, Rey slammed her hands down on the table and inched her face close to Phasma. A light scar had split her brow, another bridge of her nose. A healing scratch cut alongside her cheek. It was clear she was a battle worn commander.

Rey already was panting, her emotions getting the best of her. Phasma said nothing and it angered Rey even more. Was she not aware who she was? Did she not care?

“Not so mighty without that armor? Without your stormtroopers behind you?”

Blue eyes stared back at her and Rey knew she wasn't intimidated and she hated it. Phasma and the First Order should be intimidated. She was part of the Force, of the Resistance. She would put a stop to them just as Luke put a stop to Darth Vader decades ago. She would be just like Luke.

“You know I can get the information from you even if you don't say a word.”

That got Phasma to shift in her seat and Rey saw her swallow, but her features showed no distress as eyes remained forward. Her tongue peeked out to wet her lips and she leaned forward, baiting Rey.

“Do your worst, Scavenger.”

Phasma didn't deserve a fair interrogation, she had caused destruction to many planets and countless towns. She deserved to pay for her crimes but not before she told them everything she knew about the First Order and most importantly how to put a stop to it. She deserved to hurt for all the hurt she had caused so many people.

A smirk appeared on her face and that was it. She was so smug about this. Loyal to an order that left her to die. Rey focused, never having done this before. She strained, gritting her teeth as Phasma stared back at her. Her smirk disappeared however and Rey could sense… apprehension? Was that what that was?

Phasma leaned back and tugged at her restraints, however Rey was not aware she was shackled to the table and didn’t want her to escape, immediately she reached out to grip onto Phasma's hands to keep her there and in that moment she received a trickling on emotions which soon burst through the mental dam.

Rey let go, stumbling back as she shut her eyes, not having been prepared for this onslaught of emotions and sensations. She felt fear like she had never had before and then there was pain, so much pain. She wanted it to stop but it couldn't, it wouldn't.

“Rey. Rey!”

Upon opening her eyes she saw General Organa hovering over her, offering a hand to help her up from the ground. When had she fallen? Rubbing the tears from her eyes she stood up with Leia’s offered hand. No matter how many tears she wiped more kept coming but they weren’t her own, she had no control over what she felt at the moment.

“Is this how the Resistance works? Forcing their way into the minds of prisoners?” Phasma spat as two Resistance members with similar uniforms as the one before came to remove her. She struggled in their grip. “You think you're better than us? You're the same as we are!”

Rey stared at Phasma as she left the room and despite the anger in Phasma’s voice, the tears that had also ran down her cheeks said something else entirely. Whatever Rey felt, Phasma did too, maybe even stronger since Rey was sure all those sensations had come from her.

“I'm so sorry, General,” Rey said, looking back to Leia once Phasma had left the room. “I wasn't thinking, I just wanted to hurt her like they have been hurting so many people. I was so angry, I–”

“It's okay, Rey,” She soothed, putting a hand on her shoulder as she led Rey out the room, Phasma was nowhere to be seen. “But I want you to know that we don't do that here.”

“I know, I'm so sorry–”

Leia gently shushed Rey as they walked. It took a moment for Rey to finally compose herself, but didn't think she could shake off those sensations of pain.

“I take it my brother wasn't so willing to come back.”

Rey shut her eyes, remembering about what happened with Luke. She felt terrible for having disappointed Leia like that. She had wanted to avoid telling her for as long as she could, but time had run out and she had to face her.

“He wouldn't take the lightsaber. He wanted nothing to do with the Resistance.” Rey couldn’t believe it when he had denied her. She tried to convince him otherwise, resorted to begging, told him of Han’s fate… yet nothing persuaded him.

Leia remained facing forward as Rey looked to her, trying to read her face, wanting to see how much she had disappointed her. Rey felt like she was to blame. Maybe he didn’t see in her what others saw. Maybe she had no potential. She was just a scavenger from Jakku. Eventually a long sigh escaped Leia’s lips.

“I predicted as much. Thank you for trying, Rey.”

“What'll we do now?”

“Now?” Leia’s tone was lighter than before and she turned to look at Rey with a smile. “Now I believe there's someone who has been waiting to see you.”

Rey's eyebrows raised at the change in demeanor and in brief confusion as to who Leia was referring too, but then she looked ahead of them as they walked back up the stairs, eyes falling on Finn and Poe waiting for her, with BB-8 not far from Poe’s ankles. She smiled widely at seeing them. Nothing was better than seeing that Finn had made a great recovery after what happened at Starkiller Base.

“Rey!”

“Finn!”

They both quickened their steps only to embrace each other tightly. Rey was mindful of his back, but she was so happy to see him. She had been worried about her friend throughout her journey to Luke.

Once they let go they started to ask each other questions, answering them within the same breath. Poe looked at them, smiling, and Leia walked away, her smile turning to a more neutral expression as she turned away, her eyes carrying a hint of worry in them. She couldn't afford to visit her brother herself, but she needed him to understand how serious this was.

_Now isn't the time to be stubborn, Luke._

* * *

 

The sleeping quarters were dark, the only light came dimly from the clock at Rey’s side. She didn’t have to look at it to know it was well past the proper time to be awake. Rey remained staring at the ceiling, thinking about all that had happened that day. She was grateful for this moment of solitude but found she didn't enjoy being alone with her thoughts this night.

She had tried sleep. She had shut her eyes only for them to find their way open once again. She turned from side to side and nothing. Her bed groaned under her movements and she hoped the person in the other room didn't hear her tossing and turning.

Rey didn't know if the insomnia was because what happened with Luke or because of what happened with Phasma but either way, she was left restless. How was she to help the Resistance when she had no training of her powers? How could she treat Phasma the same way the First Order would a prisoner?

In that moment, she felt the tears well up in her eyes. She pressed her face against her pillow, feeling a huge weight in her chest at the thought that she wouldn't be a Jedi, the ones she heard so many stories about. She had gotten halfway there, became a part of the Resistance, the heroes, but she couldn’t find any use they could have of her. In this dark moment, she wished she had remained on Jakku.

Rey wasn't the only one having trouble getting rest. Phasma sat on the cot in the corner of her cell, head in her hands, feet on the ground. Her breath came out in short pants. Every time she closed her eyes she was given blips of memories. Not enough to describe with certainty but they came with such strong emotions, emotions stronger than she ever felt before.

Yet she had felt them before. Clearly she had otherwise she wouldn't be feeling them now but how could she have forgotten? How could she have forgotten so much pain? She started to cry, grabbing at her hair in an attempt to understand what was going on. She felt so out of control.

Rey didn't get in her head but there was a tickling, a familiar sensation that triggered Phasma to these sensations, these emotions. She could only come up with one explanation, she wasn't a stranger to a Force mind probe.

“What did they do to me?” She muttered aloud, wondering how far reconditioning went. It was the only place she could recall with some clarity. She couldn’t remember why, but she could remember how nervous she was. Her wrists and ankles were restrained, she remembered the cool sensation of metal against her warm, irritated skin.

‘What  _else_ ,” she urged herself to remember, pressing the palms of her hands into her eyes. Right as she got hit with pain a flash of the Supreme Leader came into view. Phasma let out a gasp, dropping her hands and backing further into her bed until her back hit the wall. It was as if he was right in front of her.  
  
Laying back down in bed she shut her eyes, once again succumbing to the flashes of sensation, of pain. Instead of opening her eyes she gritted her teeth, hoping it would go away, hoping that just by letting it run its course, the pain would eventually leave. It was like she was back there. In that room. With Supreme Leader Snoke. No, Kylo Ren. No… Just what had happened in that room? What had she been sending her stormtroopers to?


	2. Made of Precious Metals

At breakfast, Rey was clearly distracted, not adding much to the morning conversation and not even touching her food, which prompted questions from Finn. Even though she had shared with him the events the night before, she told him that it continued to lay heavy on her mind, much to his surprise. Finn reassured Rey that his old Captain deserved to be interrogated with the Force but Rey felt disgusted with herself that she acted anything like Kylo Ren and the likes of the First Order. Phasma was a bad person but Rey didn't need to resort to their tactics. They would find justice their own way. The right way. Rey decided the first step to doing the right thing was apologizing to Phasma. As much as she didn't want to, she knew she had to.

Unfortunately, Rey was unable to find General Organa that morning and she feared Phasma had already been shipped off. She searched throughout the command center and asked around, but they all said they hadn’t seen the General that morning, which didn’t seem to bother them any. Rey didn’t take Leia as someone to start the day late.

When she came across Cypress, she decided she would ask him about it. He was standing nearby a table, looking down at it. He was busy with work, but that didn’t stop Rey from speaking with him.

“No, no. She's still in her cell, doesn't leave for another couple of days, why?” He only had half a mind on the conversation as he seemed to be preparing some documents together. Rey might have snuck a look if this were some other time, but she was more concerned with Phasma and so her eyes remained on him.

“I just…” She watched his movements, momentarily distracted. “I just wanted to talk to her.”

Her words made him stop and look at her. It felt odd to hear those own words come out of her and she was sure Cypress was just as taken off guard by them. He no longer held an interest in the documents on the table as he turned to face her, eyes studying her. Rey wondered if he trusted her to behave this time. She gave him an apologetic look, knowing she had done something bad and she did want to be forgiven by him. As for apologizing to Phasma, she didn't really care for forgiveness, just understanding that it shouldn't reflect the Resistance.

“I don't think that's a good idea,” he finally spoke with a shake of his head and returned to his work, bringing up his metal mug to his lips.

Rey frowned, her shoulders dropping at being unable to apologize at the moment, at being unable to make her wrongs right. She shut her eyes, utterly defeated. It seemed to have an effect on Captain Cypress even though he wasn't looking at her. He stopped working once more and sighed, dropping his own shoulders and setting the mug on the table.

“Not today, alright?” Rey didn't know why the day mattered but she was willing to listen and come back another day. “See me in a couple of days and I'll see what I can do then.”

Nodding, she turned and left although really wished she wouldn't have to wait a couple of days to apologize. This was really bothering her. She didn't care if she was just doing it for a night’s rest. It's not like Phasma deserved a genuine apology.

Rey was unaware that Phasma was currently sedated, after trashing her cell in the middle of night and upon waking up almost harmed the General in the medical bay, thus having to be sedated once more.

* * *

Jedi training went as well as anyone would expect without a teacher. Finn and Rey had found a vacant spot not too far from the hanger and that was where they spent a couple of hours a day. Finn had tried to help with the lightsaber, but Rey was having trouble. Her mind was cluttered with thoughts of continuing a legacy, of having the pressure to save the galaxy like Luke did years before and make sure she didn’t fall down the same path as Darth Vader who also once wielded this saber. It's weight had yet to become part of her like her staff. The staff was an extension of her, every part of it moved as she willed it. The lightsaber didn't.

Rey quickly became frustrated. Finn, even though he tried, wasn't a great teacher. With her staff, he didn't stand a chance. By the middle of their first session, Rey was teaching him about stance instead of him helping her with the Force. This was not how it should go. This was not how she imagined it would be. Luke was supposed to be here, helping her. Instead she was here, not knowing what to do, with Finn, who had no idea either. She appreciated his help, but she had a feeling he too wished he wasn’t the one doing this.

The training managed to distract her for the next few days, though. It gave her something to do, but even then she couldn't take her mind off of what happened with Luke with all the training. It was starting to get to her. She lost her temper with Finn, cutting off their training.

“This is all pointless!” She threw down the lightsaber. “I'll never be a Jedi, I'll never learn how to properly use the Force. Not like this.”

“Rey - come on. We’ve only just - Rey!” Finn tried to encourage her but she wasn't listening. She stormed off, fists clenched, heading for anywhere but there. She was so angry with herself. Why didn't Luke see potential in her? Did he think she would go to the Dark side like Kylo did? She shook her head, so deep in thought she hadn't realized she was about to walk into Captain Cypress until it was too late.

“Whoa,” he took a step back, giving a soft chuckle.

Rey's face was already flushed but now it warmed with shame.

“I'm so sorry! I wasn't paying attention -”

He put a hand up, signaling for her to stop. “It's quite alright, Rey. It happens to all of us. Next time try not to zone out in the middle of a busy hanger, eh?”

She gave a weak smile and nodded. “Of course.”

It was then running into Captain Cypress that jogged Rey's mind of something else. Something she had been waiting a few days for, upon his request.

“Phasma!”

“Phasma?”

Rey winced, not meaning to come off that excitable. However, she saw a flash of recognition in his eyes and she was relieved he knew what she was referring to. The last thing she needed to come off as was someone obsessed with the First Order’s Captain.

“Ah, yes. Her stay here has been prolonged.” He said with a tilt of her chin. “Don't tell General Organa I said this but I think your Jedi mind tricks worked.” He wiggled his fingers toward his temple but Rey continued to look at him confused. “During her last questioning yesterday, she finally opened up. Gave us the location of a stormtrooper training base.”

Rey couldn't believe it. Rey didn't believe it. Captain Phasma couldn't have given in just like that. Rey didn't even get anything out of her mind probe! If you could even call it that. All she had gotten was emotions, not thoughts. Did she scare Phasma so much she worried the Resistance would do something like that again? Instead of feeling pride, Rey felt ashamed that she had scared her, especially so that she acted like the First Order when she did so.

“How can you even be sure she's telling the truth? She's a member of the First Order, captain of the stormtroopers!”

Cypress remained still, but his face hardened as he nodded, seeing her point. “We can't be sure, that's true.” Yet it didn't seem to bother him by the tone in his voice. “We've already made plans to check out the base location that she gave us. If her words stand, I say her words have earned a good amount of trust.”

“It's a trap!” Rey shouted and that earned a chuckle from Cypress.

“Perhaps you should learn a thing or two about having faith, Rey.”

Her eyebrows furrowed but she shook her head, ignoring him and the implications of his words.

“Can I talk to her?” _I want to apologize_ , she almost said but didn't, she was worried it might seem like she cared for Phasma but that wasn't the reason. She didn't care about Phasma's feelings but she did care about representing the Resistance properly.

This time Cypress acquiesced with a nod.

Rey was brought back to the same room. At least she thought so. For all she knew all the rooms looked similar. She wasn't sure it was good to be placed in a similar environment but she hoped Phasma was willing to talk to her. At least listen, that was all Rey wanted.

“We’ll be right outside if you need us,” one of the Resistance soldiers who had walked her over to the room spoke.

She nodded absentmindedly and entered the room. This time Phasma didn't look up at her. It gave Rey some time to study her features. She didn’t have to see her eyes, but the way they stared off into nothing was strange. Rey walked slowly, not even wanting her footsteps to make a noise, coming up to Phasma as one would an easily spooked animal.

“Come to force yourself into my mind once more?”

Phasma broke the silence and Rey was actually thankful even if it did startle her.

“I didn't-” she felt herself getting angry, especially volatile after her last training session with Finn, but she tried to calm herself, sitting down this time across from Phasma. “I came to apologize.”

Phasma's eyes darted to Rey, narrowing as they took in her words, but didn't say anything. She remained silent to listen, to hear what Rey had to say and make a judgement from that.

“Besides, there's no need for that since you've already given us information about the First Order.”

Brown eyes met blue which made Phasma look away and tug on her restraints in an attempt to create distance between them. Talking about her betrayal made her uncomfortable and if that was the case, why did she do it in the first place? Or was it Rey that made her uncomfortable?

“Anyway, I really am sorry. I was angry with you - I am angry with you. You've done awful things and you deserve to be punished.”

“That's your apology?”

“ _No_ , let me finish.” That anger began to bubble up inside her again. “What I did wasn't right and it was on me. Not the Resistance. I'm sorry.”

“Don't be.”

Rey's eyes turned to Phasma, followed by her eyebrows coming together in confusion. Her mouth opened, ready to speak but actually not knowing what to say. What could she say to that?

“Even if I wanted to return to the First Order, which… I do not,” she hesitated, ingrained loyalty tugging at her, “I became a traitor the moment I lowered the defenses of the base. That's why they left me for dead in that planet. I've dishonored the Order and they have no interest in welcoming me back. They should have left me to die at Starkiller Base,” Phasma muttered the last part, but Rey’s ears picked it up.

Rey wasn't entirely convinced Phasma didn't want to go back to the First Order by the way she spoke about them. It sounded like she was in the wrong for helping the Resistance, even if it was at gunpoint technically. Rey wondered why the First Order still managed to keep her alive by bringing her to another planet if they really wanted to leave her for dead why not leave her at the base?

Not that Rey cared of course.

Phasma let out a sigh, dropping her glance from Rey's which gave her the time to look at Phasma once more. She wasn't as stiff as the time before, her shoulders hung, her jaw was slack, she didn't seem hostile. It was odd to see a change like this. It was almost as if she were a new person but Rey was reluctant to believe it.

“What you did… Despite how intrusive it was, it awoke something.” Phasma looked down at her palms as they opened, seeing something Rey couldn't. “I remembered every reconditioning I was put through.” Her hands then balled into fists. “Every single one,” she enunciated with a pause between each word.

Eyes moved back to Rey and it unsettled her the way their eyes met. It was Rey's turn to lean back and compose herself for a moment, blinking to break the stare and casting her eyes down.

“You can't expect me to believe you. You were just as willing to tear my head off the other day!”

“If I remember correctly it was you who barged in here and attacked me,” came Phasma’s collected response.

Unbelievable. Phasma hadn't changed, Rey was sure of it. She was playing a trick. Rey pushed back her seat to get up but Phasma continued.

“Either way, I'm not denying I don't want to tear your head off now but your belief is not one that matters. I have convinced the General. I have no interest in the trust of a Scavenger.”

Rey stood up from the seat, her cheeks were starting to flush once more.

“My name is Rey, not Scavenger. And I'll have you know this scavenger survived in the Jakku desert for over a decade. This scavenger has piloted the Millennium Falcon. This scavenger escaped the First Order’s holding cell.” Her voice lowered as she dropped her hands on the table, leaning forward. “This scavenger is a Jedi.”

Phasma kept her gaze steady, undisturbed by Rey's outburst and Rey hated that so much. She seemed so unaffected, she was so unimpressed by Rey and she wasn't sure why she was seeking that approval from Phasma but she'd be damned if Phasma continued to be unimpressed. She'd impress her somehow, intimidate her if she had to.

“So I take it you've found Luke Skywalker? Convinced him to be your teacher? What's he like?”

Rey opened her mouth, words struggled to come out, unable to decide to give a truth or a lie, unable to discern if Phasma was mocking her or genuinely interested.

“You don't have a teacher do you?”

Her tone held no judgement, no malice, maybe pity? Rey's pause had given her away and once again she was unable to speak and instead moved away from the table. Phasma continued to stare and Rey right then and there decided she hated Phasma's stare. She hated her eyes.

“If you're giving the Resistance false information, I'll personally see to it that you get put down like the animal you are.”

Rey quickly turned around and walked away, leaving the room. Oh, she hated her.

* * *

Training resumed for the next couple of days and Rey was in a better mood despite not feeling any change in her skills. Apologizing to Phasma helped, but it did leave her uneasy. Also a question had been lingering on her mind since then. However she hadn't the courage to ask for another meeting with Phasma. What would everyone think? So she turned to the only person she could ask about this.

“Reconditioning? Why do you want to know?”

Judging by his tone, Finn didn’t appreciate this change in conversation. He didn't enjoy talking about his time as a stormtrooper. Rey knew this but he was her friend, her best friend. She needed to know what reconditioning was. She asked him as they sat on the grass, exhausted after training.

“Phasma said she remembers her reconditioning. Do you remember yours?”

Finn stared at her, his eyes, full of concern, hesitation. Rey enjoyed that he was so expressive, so transparent. She placed her hand over his and he shut his eyes momentarily before shaking his head, lips pursed.

“I've never been reconditioned. I-I was sentenced to it but I escaped with Poe before I ever got a chance to.”

Rey stroked his hand with her thumb, coaxing him to continue, wanting him to know it was okay to talk about this. She wouldn't think any less of him. He opened his eyes and continued to look at Rey.

“Do you know what it is?”

He responded with a wince, grabbing at the back of his neck. “Just what I heard. I suppose the proper answer is that it's just a way to help a stormtrooper remember what we learned in training, what we’re supposed to prioritize.”

Finn looked back to Rey.

“But that's not what I heard. According to this guy, they had a friend who knew a guy that had come back after his second reconditioning and… and it was weird. They said he could have sworn they replaced him with a droid if it wasn't for the fact that he saw him without his helmet on. Another guy said a girl in his squad couldn't even remember her identification number for a while. Chunks of her memory just… Gone!”

Rey was surprised, even though she shouldn't be. The First Order was a sinister group who did horrible things. She couldn't think as to why anyone would remain there. Even those who believed in the cause. Couldn't they see the damage they were doing, not only to others but to their own people?

“Everyone has different stories as to what they do to you, subject you to simulations over and over again, torture you, some even say they do replace you with a droid. I don't know for sure, but I know it was what stormtroopers feared. I can't imagine having to go through with it multiple times. Especially not as someone they'd eventually make Captain.”

“Yeah, I don't think so either. I don't trust her Finn.” But. There was that but. She had felt something when she tried to probe Phasma and that had to be real. That pain was too strong to be fake.

“Good, you shouldn't.” Finn responded shortly.

Rey moved in to lean her head on his shoulder. He set his on top of hers.

“Thank you for telling me.”

“Of course.”

Right then a couple of X-Wings flew past them, catching their attention as one more passed that they recognized as Poe’s. They gave one another a look before heading toward the hanger.

This was the moment of truth. The fact that they had all made it back looked good, but one couldn't know for sure until Poe came with the news. Rey, despite unwilling to trust Phasma, hoped that the mission was a success even if she wasn't sure what a success would entail. She didn't know what was the objective and she didn't enjoy being left out of the loop. She told herself she would soon be informed of the Resistance objectives once she was better with the Force.

By the time they arrived, General Organa was waiting for them along with some of the rest of the crew. Leia had her hands clasped together, everyone waited with baited breath as Poe started to step out of his X-Wing, BB-8 rolling with him.

Rey had never been happier to see a smile on Poe's face.

“It's true,” he spoke up once he neared, his three other pilots behind him. “There's a base where training stormtroopers are held. Far too many for just us to deal with, but we managed to get in and get out safely. I don't think I've ever had a more successful surveillance mission.”

Poe turned to the three pilots and chuckled with them before looking at Leia. It seemed all eyes were on her now. The few seconds it took for her to speak felt like an eternity.

“Very well. Let's come together to decide on our next steps.”

Poe gave a short nod and walked with her and some other Resistance leaders back to the command center. Rey was stunned. Phasma had given them correct information. And more importantly she managed to give them enough for them to go in safely and leave undetected. Incredible.

And Rey had called her an animal.

“I'll catch up with you later, Finn. I've got something to do.”

Finn looked oddly at Rey but didn't vocalize his thoughts. He gave her a short wave.

“Yeah, sure. You know where to find me.”

Rey didn't even wait for him to finish, she had already began jogging toward the entrance of the base, moving in between other people. It wasn't really good to run when it was busy as it was just now but she needed to talk to Phasma once more.

She wanted to trust her. Have faith. But something was keeping her from doing so. Rey wanted to figure out what that was. After giving her yet another apology for not believing her, of course.

This time Rey didn't bother going to set up a meeting between them through Cypress. She went straight to the holding cell… after figuring out where it was. She had to run through a lot of hallways and ended up asking about it. By the time she found it, Phasma was already coming through a blast door.

“Oh,” Rey stopped in the nick of time before running into her and the two guards behind her. “I was… uh.” Rey couldn't form words, caught off guard by Phasma’s close proximity as well as the fact that she was really _really_ tall, hovered over her escorts even.

“You're really tall.”

Her face started to warm upon saying that, finding her words to be incredibly stupid. She refused to look at Phasma's face, afraid to see her even finding a bit of humor in that. Rey knew she was tall but she didn't know she was taller by that much. It was very alarming and made Rey feel very small.

“So I've been told.”

Saving Rey from further embarrassment the Resistance guard to Phasma's left spoke up.

“You're not supposed to be here, Rey.”

Well that didn't exactly save her from feeling embarrassed. She kept her gaze low, feeling like a scolded child.

“I know, I know. I was just…” She couldn't say it.

“Come on,” the other spoke, urging Phasma to keep moving. “We've got orders to bring her to General Organa.”

“Of course,” Rey muttered, moving to the side and allowing them to pass. She only picked up her head once they went by and watched as Phasma walked with the two Resistance members.

Before disappearing into a curve, Phasma turned her head toward Rey's general direction but didn't continue to face her. An odd sensation passed through her then and she frowned, shaking her head. What was she thinking? Coming all this way to see Phasma to apologize? She was a member of the First Order. Not an ally. She deserved no apology for “hurting” her feelings.

Maybe Rey was just exhausted from training. Yeah, that was it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! As always, feedback would be much appreciated (especially if I got any canon wrong). Check back for another update in two weeks!


	3. A Billion Little Pieces

The mission took two weeks to plan. Rey thought it only took so long because in between planning this pretty big operation, other missions were in progress, each one relying on some intel Phasma had given and each one more or less successful. Rey couldn't get over how incredible it was. She wondered what was going on in the minds of the Resistance leaders but she was glad she wasn't them having to make these risky decisions and having to be put in a place to decide whether or not to completely trust Phasma.

She remained shackled as she met with the leaders, but ultimately no one tensed when she stood up and people got used to her height. Even General Organa stood near her. Rey always watched from afar, never too close to hear what was going on, not because she didn't want to be reprimanded for being nosy but… She was afraid they'd notice her staring. At Phasma. Her reason for that was chalked up to how odd it looked, it was something new and so it was entrancing.

Even in cuffs Phasma was intimidating, the way she stood… the way she spoke, Rey found herself trying to imitate it. She wanted to have a commanding presence, to walk into a room and have the respect of those around her, to not be thought of as just some scavenger.

Finn caught her puffing out her chest one day and the two exchanged a look that agreed neither of them would speak about what just happened. No matter how she practiced, she just looked ridiculous. While Phasma, she made herself look even taller and always had her head up, not in an obnoxious way, but Rey could only imagine how much power she had in armor if she could exude such confidence with normal, unkempt clothes.

When she wasn’t training, she stopped by the command center, sometimes Phasma wouldn’t be there at first, but she’d arrive, eventually. Rey knew where she came from so she always stood some ways away from there, just afraid of being caught. She didn’t understand why. It’s not like she was doing something wrong. Observing them wasn’t a bad thing, it wasn’t like she was eavesdropping… something about her focal point being Phasma bothered her, however. She didn’t understand why, but she did come up with multiple excuses for it and that was good enough for her.

“Is there something you need, Rey?”

Startled by C-3POs voice, Rey clenched her fists before turning around, only relaxing once she came face to face with him.

“What?” She asked, hushed, not wanting to bring attention to her. “I - I'm fine.” She hoped that would shoo them away.

R2-D2 beeped and whistled and Rey snapped her head to him, furrowing her brows at his words. “I have _not_ been spying!”

“Forgive my insistence, but we have noticed you spending a lot of time watching the Rebellion leaders.”

Rey shook her head, feeling embarrassed at being caught by droids. Who else must have noticed? “I-I'm just curious.”

Rey tucked her hair behind her ear and turned her head back to them, making sure they hadn't noticed, making sure Phasma hadn't noticed. She seemed caught up in conversation with General Organa.

“Yes, it is a curious sight to behold, a former First Order Captain helping plan a mission for the Resistance.”

R2-D2 beeped in agreement. Rey looked back to them, wondering if they knew that Phasma had been the one she was staring at.

“Oh, I - yeah,” she mumbled, brows knitting together momentarily. “Do you think it's true? That she's left the First Order behind?” Rey didn't know why she was asking droids but they were the only ones here and she'd like the attention to be turned on something other than herself.

R2-D2 whistled and C-3PO looked to him before back at Rey.

“He is right. There is a great potential for change in all of us. It is time for a change that is for the better.”

Rey turned back to look at Phasma. Finn had left the First Order but he hadn't killed for them like she had. He made his decision early. Why had Phasma taken so long to come to hers? And only once they abandoned her.

“I don't know, she's -” Rey pursed her lips at an inability to come up with what she wanted to say.

Throughout her watch of Phasma, she grew to notice small things. The way Phasma stood, how she didn't speak with her hands and that they could remain in place for quite some time… if it weren't for her unruly hair that, while cropped short on one end, had some length to it on the other and every so often she'd grow tired of her hair in her face and push it back. Sometimes it would happen slowly, as if she wasn't even realizing what she was doing, other times it was clear it was one of frustration.

“Different.”

Phasma was different. Unlike anything she had ever seen before. Women like her in Jakku… there were no women like Phasma in Jakku. Even if there had, Rey mostly kept her head down, stuck to her routine of scavenging, trading, eating, sleeping. Repeat the next day. General Organa had a commanding presence as well, but it was different. Phasma was different. It was all Rey could come to.

If this mission was successful it would deliver a great blow to the First Order. Maybe just as much as the destruction of Starkiller base. Rey hoped it would be successful because for the time being they needed some hope while Kylo Ren and Hux continued to remain missing. She was curious as to why they didn't ask for that information first but Rey assumed General Organa knew best and maybe she was waiting to see if Luke would come on his own. Rey had her doubts about that. He wasn't coming. He wouldn't ever. He saw no galaxy worth saving, no Jedi worth training.

“I'm going on the mission,” Finn told her in the middle of training during that second week.

It caught Rey by surprise, she dropped her staff and straightened herself up. Her face scrunched up, eyes squinting.

“What?”

The two of them had been training hard but neither of them were ready for something like that.

“General Organa informed me this morning. I'm excited.”

Rey should have been happy for him but instead she was confused. Maybe even jealous.

“We've only just begun training.”

Finn’s smile dropped and he frowned at her. Rey immediately felt bad but didn’t believe her words would have that kind of effect on him. She didn't like seeing him upset. Maybe it was her tone. She did sound angry.

“I'm sorry, Finn.”

“No, no. I get it. The thing is Rey, ever since I managed to get on my feet, I started training with Poe.” He sighed. This was clearly something he had wanted to say for a while. “I'm sorry, Rey.”

She blinked, not having realized. She wondered what Poe had trained Finn in. Piloting? She felt even more envious and was ashamed of herself so she put on a smile.

“That's great, Finn. Don't be sorry.”

She walked over to him, her anger having faded away. She was proud of Finn but she was also worried something might happen to him and she wouldn't be there. She couldn't stand the thought of losing her best friend.

“Just promise me you'll be safe.” She said as she gripped his shoulders.

Finn gave a small chuckle and nodded. “I'm only reckless when I'm with you.”

That made Rey grin and she put an arm around him.

“Just as it should be.”

They both laughed and Rey considered herself lucky to have made a friend like him. However, she didn't know if by accepting the mission, he was showing he trusted Phasma or if he was just obeying what Leia told him to do. Either way, she was going to miss him when he left, who would she have to spend time with? And most importantly, why wasn't an offer extended for her to join?

* * *

 

General Organa was speaking with a Junior Controller, but Rey couldn’t hear what either of them were saying. The conversation didn’t look too serious, Leia was smiling at the other woman and nodding her head. Rey fidgeted with her sleeves, looking down to try and garner enough courage to speak with General Organa. Once the two stopped speaking and Leia started to walk away, Rey followed her, trying to catch up.

“Uh, General?”

Leia turned around, eyes brightening at seeing Rey.

“Rey, what can I do for you?”

“Why wasn’t I invited to the mission?” Rey came out with it, not able to dance around the topic without being upfront.

Leia raised her brows, silent for a moment before motioning Rey to follow her into a more secluded part of the command center. The chatter of those around them decreased as they moved to the side, away from the path of others, but still within the range of the command center. Rey awaited Leia’s words, not sure what it could be. Her insecurities told her it was due to the fact that she wasn’t training in anything. She wanted to believe that there was no room for her. Chewie had taken the Millennium Falcon with him when he went back to Maz’s castle to help her rebuild.

“Rey,” Leia began and Rey closed her eyes, already regretting having asked the question. “I don’t want you to feel like you were singled out in this.” She rested a hand on Rey’s shoulder. It was so comforting, Rey didn’t know how she did that.

“No, no I just - I don’t know.” Her mind raced for an excuse. “I’m worried about Finn.” Oh, she hated using her love of her best friend like this.

Leia nodded, dropping her hand from Rey’s shoulder. Was she aware Rey had lied? Or had not told the whole truth.

“I understand your hesitation, but we have worked with Phasma to make sure everyone comes home safely.”

Rey’s eyes darted to Leia at the mention of Phasma. Why did just the mention of her strike such a strong feeling in her already? She barely knew her. _Didn’t_ know her.

“How can you trust someone like her, General? She was part of the First Order. Might still be…”

“It was a very difficult thing to do and not something we treated lightly, I assure you. We had to make sure she was capable of giving honest intel. You have no idea how many First Order members we’ve gotten. Few give true intel and even less renounce the order entirely.”

While her brows furrowed, Rey looked away from General Organa, understanding what she was trying to say.

“She isn't Finn,” Rey urged, actually challenging General Organa’s judgement. “This isn't some stormtrooper -”

“No, she was the Captain of the stormtroopers and more importantly was one of the leaders of the First Order.” Leia’s tone, while soft, still cut through Rey's own.

“You think,” Rey began, having come to a thought she was afraid to voice. “If she was able to do it… so would your son.” Rey returned her eyes to General Organa.

Inhaling deeply, she nodded, giving an exhale after.

“I know there is good in him. Just as there is good in Phasma.”

“With all due respect, General, you weren't there when.. when he -” Rey couldn't even say that. Kylo had killed his own father. How could there be any good in someone who did that?

“I knew what occurred the second it happened, Rey.” This time Leia’s tone had gotten sharper and Rey was intimidated by it.

“I'm sorry, General.”

“We’re as much capable of awful things as we are of good things. Just like the Force knows neither good nor evil, it's up to you and how you use it.”

Rey's eyes momentarily fell only to come back to Leia. She nodded, understanding and agreeing. Rey was no saint. Jakku was an unforgiving planet. Getting a good salvage meant getting to eat and sometimes… sometimes you were really hungry.

“Thank you for your time, General.”

“Leia. It's okay to call me Leia, Rey.”

The two smiled at each other, small, soft smiles. Rey nodded and was the first to take a step back and walk away.

* * *

 

On the morning of, Rey had to say goodbye to Finn. He lowered his head and she sent him off with a kiss on the forehead but not after hugging him one last time.

“Don't make me have to come and rescue you.”

Her friend laughed into her shoulder.

“At least we'd be even.”

With that he left and Rey was alone. Not exactly alone. There were still Resistance members on the base, plenty of them. However her friends had left. General Organa wasn't even around for the rest of the day. She had gone to talk about the future of Phasma with the new leaders of the Republic.

So, with no company, Rey walked around the base. She didn't feel up to training after all. Not without Finn. She tried to make conversation with some Resistance members, but many of them were busy and had no time to spare with chit-chat. Rey understood, but she was utterly bored and for once… didn’t enjoy being alone at the base.

It didn't take long for her to get an idea in her head and she tried to ignore it as much as she could but eventually she had to give in. Rey wanted to talk to Phasma. Ask her about what was going on. Maybe try to see what General Organa saw. Throughout all this she hadn't spoken with her. If anyone asked, Rey just happened to come across her cell. She really hoped no one would ask though.

“Phasma?” She called out and immediately hated herself, hated how her voice sounded. It sounded small, weak and Rey was working on gaining respect from Phasma and that was not the way. Insulting her wasn't the way as well, she'd have to try and keep her tongue bitten.

Rey considered turning around since she heard no one respond but just before then, Phasma answered. “What is it, Scavenger?”

A smile graced Rey's lips but she shook her head to remove it, feeling weird by this whole situation. Was she that desperate for company? She could have gone to C-3PO, instead she was here, trying to seek out Phasma. She continued walking now, coming up to Phasma's cell. It was different than what she had pictured but not as bad as the First Order’s interrogation room.

A cot lay in the upper left corner of the room and to Rey's nearest right was a small desk with a stool. Books were stacked on the desk but Rey's eyes didn't linger on the books for too long. To enclose it all was an energy field, a light blue hue with a soft hum made Rey aware it was on. She was about to lean on it but then second guessed herself, not knowing what happened if touched.

“Go ahead, touch it. It's safe.”

Phasma was standing in the middle of the room, only a couple of feet away from Rey. She looked too large for the room.

With a shake of her head she responded to Phasma's insistence. “I'm not gonna touch it. What if it -”

“Shocks you? I told you it's safe.” Phasma took a step and half and she was already within the same distance Rey was from the field, which was pretty close. “Here. I'll touch it with you,” she said, lifting her hand up to her waist.

Rey didn't trust her. She was lying, going to pull her hand away in the last centimeter before she touched the energy field.

“No, I said no.”

“You don't trust me?” Her tone made it clear she already knew the answer. Phasma was only baiting Rey.

“You know I don't.”

Phasma dropped her hand and averted her eyes momentarily, not wanting to come off affected by Rey's lack of trust. Maybe she was. But she couldn't let her know that. How would it appear? Rey's trust was not one that mattered.

“Ah, that's a shame.” Phasma said with a sigh, lifting her arm to rest her forearm against the energy field, showing that it was indeed safe to touch. “So what brings you here then, Scavenger?”

Rey took a step back, intimidated by Phasma's proximity and her height. Her face momentarily hardened, brows coming together, lips pursing, until she remembered she was here for “company”. She was an idiot. This was the Captain of the stormtroopers. A prisoner of the Resistance.

“I was curious as to why you didn't go on the mission yourself. Being that you helped plan it. What if they run into trouble?” While it was an excuse thought up on the spot, it was a worry she had.

“I trust in the competence of the Resistance… And if things do not go as planned, they are more than welcome to request my assistance but I am sure General Organa has suitable aids ready to think on the spot.” Phasma paused for a moment, eyes heavy on Rey. “Why do you ask?”

Rey could feel the eyes on her which kept her from looking up. She merely shrugged, debating turning around and going to her room. She'd sleep the rest of the day away, she supposed.

Phasma brought down her arm, eyes still on Rey, only tearing away as she reached for the stool, pulling it to her and sitting down. It was only then Rey looked up, seeing Phasma sitting down and then picked her head up, feeling better. Comfortable.

“Can I ask you something?”

Phasma nodded, shifting in her seat, but not appearing uneasy at being asked that question.

“Why are you helping us? What did you remember that made you want to turn on the First Order? What did they do to you?”

An inhale made Rey look to her, her eyes had turned away as she asked the questions, afraid to look her in the eye but now Phasma had turned her eyes upward, tilting her head back.

“That is a lot of somethings,” she began with, but her tone showed no sign of playfulness. Her hands ran up and down her thigh as she remained silent for a couple of seconds longer. “You see, even if I wanted to tell you what I remember, I couldn't. The memories come to me like dreams, I'm left grasping at air. Simply describing what I can wouldn't make you understand. And I'm sure you don't want to hear me describe the pain.”

“You wouldn't have to.” Rey spoke up before she could censor her words. “Sorry, I know I shouldn't have but I did. I wasn’t expecting to feel what I felt. I really am sorry for what they did to you.”

Phasma nodded, her face solemn.

“But that doesn't excuse all you did in their name. You would have died for the First Order not too long ago, right?” Rey didn’t know why she just asked that. She was just speaking her worries aloud now and couldn’t stop.

“I give no excuses for what I've done. I'm not asking for forgiveness. I fully intend to face the consequences of my actions once the day comes.” She looked down at her lap, once more staring at her palms, as if able to see all the wrong she had done in her hands. “Until then, I will help the Resistance.”

It was difficult to be angry at her, Rey found. She wasn't doing this so she could get out of being sentenced. It seemed genuine. Yet, Rey was struggling with trust. She always did but with Phasma it was different.

“Have I earned a chance to ask a couple of questions myself?”

Phasma's voice was surprisingly soft and Rey had to look at her lips to make sure that voice was actually coming from her. She didn't know what Phasma could ask but feared it all the same. Still, she supposed she earned it. She responded with a short nod.

“Is Luke Skywalker training you? Why have I not met him yet? Is he not in the base?”

It was Rey's turn to sigh. She didn't know how to answer but figured if Phasma had been truthful, it would be the right thing to be truthful as well as much as she worried about the potential vulnerability with answering this question with complete truth.

“Luke is not training me. He's not here. He… obviously didn't see anything in me worth training so he wants nothing to do with this.” Rey was clearly agitated but her voice also trembled. It hurt.

It took a moment for Phasma to speak up and Rey began to regret being honest.

“You should know, Ren thought highly of you. Not that his opinion should matter on its own, but he has trained with Skywalker, he has trained with Supreme Leader Snoke and yet you, a scavenger, managed to catch his attention with how much potential you have. He recognized it. I don't believe your lack of potential is what kept Luke away. However, that doesn't matter. He had his moment of heroism didn’t he?”

Rey wanted to interrupt the moment she brought up Kylo Ren, but kept it in. She didn't know if she should have because she wasn't sure what she just heard. Was that a compliment from Phasma? A sort of pep talk? This was the most unusual situation she had been in.

“I guess he did… But General Organa won't even send me on a mission. They won't train me how to fly a x-wing. I'm left here. I feel useless. Why don't they want to use me?” She spoke more than she wanted and realized it only after. She hoped Phasma wouldn't judge. She voiced an insecurity in front of Phasma of all people.

“I recommended you stay out of the mission.”

Rey snapped her head up at Phasma. “Why? Why would you do that?” Rey took a step back, her body tensing.

“There is something you need to know. I wanted to make sure I was positive of this before I said it and all the missions the Resistance did made it very clear. Ren is in hiding, finishing his training. It is important you work on yours otherwise, even without my troops, the Resistance won't have a fighting chance.”

Rey couldn't believe it. Still her anger faded but it turned into fear. She held her own with Kylo Ren at Starkiller Base but she knew he underestimated her. Now he would be fully trained and know what she was capable of. He would win.

“How do you want me to work on Jedi training? I just told you Luke wants nothing to do with me!” Rey put her hands on her head, feeling an incredible weight on her. “Who's going to train me? Who?”

Phasma had no answer to that.

And Rey wished she did.

* * *

 

Rey trained until she ached for the next few days. She practiced with her staff for hours, until she was left to the point of tears. Until she was exhausted and still she knew even if she trained like this until she faced off with Kylo Ren, it'd be useless if she didn't know how to handle the lightsaber, if she didn't know how to use the Force. It upset her to the point of rage that she was left on her own like this. Once again.

After she took out her frustration on a tree she returned to the command center, wondering if General Organa had arrived. Everyone seemed at their usual, her eyes scanned the area but she caught something out of the ordinary. Phasma was being escorted out of the room. She ran to the other end of the room, turning the corner with them and eventually stopping before them.

“What happened? Did something go wrong? Is Finn hurt?” Rey shot out, waiting for Phasma's response but she was taking too long to respond.

“Nothing happened. I wasn't needed for the mission.” Phasma's voice was steady but it was too out of touch as if trying to remain vague, distanced.

“Then what were you brought out for?”

“I was requested to answer a few questions for the Republic.”

That confused Rey even more but she felt good to see Phasma. Not that she wanted to see her but she had been wanting to apologize once more for the way she acted in their last meeting. It was immature of her. Phasma was only trying to help.

“Sorry,” she voiced, directed at her escorts. “I need to speak to Phasma for a bit. Privately.” She emphasized her last word.

The Resistance members looked at each other before giving a shrug and stepping out of earshot but not keeping Phasma out of their sight. Not much she could do anyway as Rey noticed she was still cuffed.

“Phasma -”

“Listen -”

Rey shushed herself and Phasma held her tongue as they both began at the same time. It seemed to have caught them both by surprise and Rey stuttered until Phasma motioned toward her.

“Please, continue.”

With a hint of a nod, Rey's mind returned to what she wanted to say.

“I wanted to apologize for how I acted -”

“You've been saying that a lot lately.”

Rey narrowed her eyes at Phasma, unsure if she was making out a smile in her lips or a tease to her tone. Maybe she was just imagining she was. _Focus, Rey_.

“Like I was saying, I want to apologize. I shouldn't have acted like I did. You must think of me as a child -”

“Don't apologize,” Phasma spoke up, her tone even, yet piercing through Rey's.

“You've been saying that a lot lately too.”

On Rey's end, she did smile and was teasing and as she looked up with a rather coy look at Phasma, it was the first time she saw Phasma affected by something she did. Her eyes widened and her jaw unhinged but it was brief - long enough for someone who was watching to notice but able to be missed if not paying attention.

“Uh,” Phasma dropped her head and cleared her throat. “I wished to apologize as well.”

Rey's eyebrows knitted together at the notion but moved closer, interested in what Phasma had to say so she remained quiet.

“I shouldn't have told you about Ren. Not like that at least. I'm very ashamed of how I came at you. I wish to be honest now.” She inhaled, picking up her head and looking to Rey. “I believe in the Resistance. They are far more capable than I would have given them credit for. But most importantly, I believe in you. You don't need a teacher. What does a washed out Jedi know anyway?”

Rey let out a huff of a laugh at that last comment but couldn't believe the nice words that had come out of Phasma's mouth. She wondered if her cheeks were turning red because she most definitely could feel her face heat up.

“Thank you, Phasma.” Rey tried to hold back the smile that wanted to come out so it was her turn to bow her head. “Can I - can I ask you one more thing?”

Phasma gave a nod along with a grunt.

“Why did General Organa need you to speak with the Republic?”

Phasma blinked and turned her eyes away, her head following shortly after. She didn't want to answer or maybe didn't know how. Maybe she was ashamed. Rey didn't know, couldn't tell but the question was not one she welcomed.

“The Republic believe I have stayed on the base for too long. Word has gotten out of my capture and the people, justifiably, want blood. The Republic is curious as to why the Resistance refuses to hand me over and I had to speak on my own behalf after General Organa argued for my extended stay in the base.”

“What did they say?” Rey was suddenly hit with apprehension that Phasma might leave. That she would be charged for her crimes and Rey would never see ever again. Why did that create so much stress in Rey's mind?

“My future is still being discussed. I've made my peace with both outcomes.”

The way Phasma spoke about it was so clinically like she was speaking of something that didn't involve the rest of her life.

“Don't you want to stay here?” Rey urged, looking up into Phasma’s eyes and she saw it again. She saw the surprise in her eyes, making it clear she was caught off guard and Rey was too by her own words.

Phasma didn't get a chance to speak since one of the Resistance escorts came up to them saying it was time for Phasma to return to her cell. Rey could only oblige and be left without an answer to her question. She wasn't sure if she was better off with one or without.


	4. Like Broken Satellites

One more day and the team returns to the base. Rey wished she could say that the anxiety she felt had entirely to do with Finn’s safe arrival home, but it didn't. She worried of what would happen to Phasma, of where her future lied. It wouldn't be right to not have Phasma face the consequences, but she genuinely believed Phasma was an aid to the Resistance. Couldn't it wait until the war was over?

Training with that anxiety in you wasn't a good idea, but Rey continued. She wanted to show Finn when he came home, one week later, how much she had improved. The weight of the saber was still off but she was trying to overcome it. She had set up training dummies, made up with whatever scrap parts she could find in the maintenance level of the base and the lightsaber could cut through them nicely.

With a swing, the blade sliced through the metal, unfortunately not in the way Rey wanted. She went for a clean decapitation move but instead it was a diagonal slash, a horrible one at that, the final cut being at a higher point than when she made the first cut. The saber returned to her side and she stared at her ugly work, panting, feeling that anger rise up in her once more.

“You're not shifting your weight correctly.”

With a hum, the lightsaber came back to life as she turned around, startled at hearing someone behind her. She had never been bothered while training before. Her eyebrows furrowed upon seeing Phasma in front of her.

“Wha - ” she began, spotting the General some paces behind her, which confused her further. What was going on? Had something happened? The saber turned off and Rey let it slip out of her fingers.

Her eyes returned to Phasma and she saw she was still cuffed. Their eyes met and Phasma looked down, building up the courage to speak what needed to be said. Rey wanted an explanation for all this and while she wanted it now, she was polite enough to wait for Phasma to provide one.

“As you’ve been made aware, the Republic and General Organa have been discussing what to do with me.” She picked up her head. “The Republic’s leaders wouldn’t budge. They didn’t think it was proper of me to remain with the Resistance and even if my movements were escorted, they said it would be waste of Resistance resources. That and spending my time in a holding cell did not make the Resistance look well. Resistance leaders agreed with them.”

Phasma took a breath and Rey grew considerably more worried and she didn’t know why. She shouldn’t be feeling upset that Phasma had to leave.

“The thing is, General Organa is just as stubborn.” A smile tugged at the corner of Phasma’s mouth and she glanced over at Leia. “She argued strongly for me to remain, of which I am extremely grateful for. Eventually, they had no choice but to reach a compromise.” Returning her attention to Rey, she kept her gaze steadily on her. “I am given free range and am able to walk around the base freely, so long as I am supervised.”

Rey looked to General Organa, not having expected her to willingly agree to supervise Phasma. Clearly, Leia had much more important things to do. How could the Republic agree to such a thing?

“I requested you to be my escort of sorts.”

Rey jerked her head back to Phasma, eyes widening.

“Wait, me? You picked me?”

“Other arrangements can be made if you -”

“No, I -” _I want to_. “I can do it.” She nodded, keeping her eyes on Phasma. “I can do it.” She repeated, both to reassure Phasma and to reaffirm herself that she was capable of doing such a thing. She looked over at Leia, who she then gave a thumbs up. It was strange but Rey wasn't sure how else to act. The thumbs up seems to be enough for Leia as she promptly turned around and left.

Now that she was gone there was this strange awkwardness between them. Rey had yet to see Phasma outside of the base.

“Why me?”

Phasma picked her head up, brows raising just a bit.

“Aside from General Organa you are the only one who visited me with frequency.”

“So you only chose me 'cause I talked to you?” That came out sounding pathetic, as if Rey was asking for more but it also made Phasma look like she didn't exactly have a choice in the matter which wasn't the case.

“The truth is I had ulterior motives in requesting you.”

Rey said nothing, but couldn't hide a blush coming to her cheeks so she looked away. She didn't even know why she was blushing but it came anyway.

“If you'd let me… I'd like to help you train.”

A scoff came out of her mouth before she could prevent it and Rey felt terrible at how Phasma's face fell. However she quickly repaired it with a more neutral expression.

“Sorry, I just - you want to help me train to be a Jedi? It's ridiculous!”

Phasma inhaled deeply, taking a step back, gathering her thoughts before returning her eyes to Rey.

“No. I can't train you to become a Jedi - or a Sith if that's what you're worried about, but I can help or at least I believe I can help you train to become a better force-user.”

Rey continued to stare at Phasma, wondering where this was all coming from and wondering if she could trust her words. Sure, Leia trusted Phasma but did that mean they all could? _Should_? Once Phasma started listing off her experience Rey shook her head interrupting her.

“No, no it's fine. I'm sure you have some experience training others. It's not that…” Phasma kept her gaze steady and Rey herself wasn't sure what it was that was keeping her from accepting it, but decided to just ignore it for the time being. “You know what? Sure. I honestly do need all the help I can get.

“Understood.” Phasma gave a brief nod and Rey couldn't help but notice the corners of her mouth twitching in an effort to mask a smile and Rey had to avert her attention elsewhere because the idea that something like this caused Phasma to smile made Rey feel funny.

“So… _instructor_ ,” Rey mocked, “what's my first lesson?”

“Right. First lesson.” Phasma lifted her hands, showing her shackles that Rey had forgotten she was wearing. “Free me from my restraints.”

It was Rey's turn to take a step back, mouth dropping in surprise. Surely Phasma was joking, even though Rey had yet to ever hear her make jokes.

“I can't do that!”

“Have you ever tried?” Phasma asked, beginning to walk a slow circle around Rey. “Just try it.”

“Please tell me you've got the code to unlock them yourself if I can't do it.”

“Nope,” Phasma opened her hands. “My freedom," her eyes trailed down to the cuffs then back to Rey, "depends on you,” she emphasized with a pointed finger at Rey. “Now, free me.”

Rey opened her mouth to decline but decided not to. Instead she just stared at the cuffs, wondering how in the world she was going to unlock it. She hadn't gotten to that part yet with Finn. She could barely lift something in the air for a couple of seconds. Unlocking was on another level she wasn't ready for yet it seemed like Phasma didn't mind. She showed no nervousness at the thought of being in those restraints for longer. It was like she believed in Rey, which was silly to think about. Phasma didn't even know her.

With an extended arm toward Phasma and a furrowed brow, Rey focused on the cuffs, willing them to release Phasma's wrists. She heard a small whir, a shift of metal, but no release.

“I told you I can't do it.”

“You've loosened them."

“Huh?”

“You loosened the restraints.”

Rey sighed, not impressed by her own work. “Yeah but I didn't unlock them. You're still bound.”

“Have you ever loosened these cuffs before?”

Rey shook her head, she had a feeling Phasma might have already known the answer.

“So you've just done something you've never done before?”

“I guess.”

“You took a step toward your goal. I believe that's called progress. That's your first lesson.” With a beep the cuffs cracked open and fell to the ground. “You don't always meet your goal on the first try, but every unsuccessful attempt is a step toward a successful one.”

Rey stood there, wondering what the hell just happened. Her eyes moved down to the metal cuffs.

“How did you -” she pointed at them then looked back up at Phasma, her finger following. “You knew I wouldn't be able to do it.”

“They were never locked to begin with. You did make them easier to remove. Sometimes you just need a extra hand to reach a goal.” Phasma rubbed at her wrists as she spoke and Rey watched, seeing how chaffed her wrists got being in cuffs. She frowned and maybe Phasma saw her because soon after she dropped her hands to her her side, her long sleeves covering her wrists.

“Can we focus on force training? I don't think I can do any lightsaber training again for today.”

Phasma agreed with a nod. “As you wish.”

* * *

 

Rey was absolutely overjoyed once Finn came back to base. She was so proud of him but at the same time she was relieved to see him back safely. Other reunions took place, the hangar was busier than usual as more X-Wings landed and everyone was in a celebratory mood as the mission was a complete success. Once she got Finn in her arms she gave him a firm embrace, grinning widely before grabbing him by the shoulders.

“How was your first Resistance mission?”

“Oh, Rey it was amazing! You should have seen it!” He started to describe what had happened, his arms moving about excitedly and Rey soaked up all his words with just as much excitement. Once Poe came along, the two of them began to tell their story of how the two of them brought down hundreds of troopers. Finn argued it was more like thousands. 

Everything was blissful for a moment until Finn caught sight of his old Captain. Rey saw him give a curious look and when his look quickly faded to anger, she knew what he had laid his eyes on.

Phasma was none the wiser however. She stood a few paces behind Rey, enough to to let people walk between them but she was still bumped into. Some apologized, only to look at her and be shocked and others kept walking by, saying nothing. She felt out of place in this spot. Felt abnormally tall. She was rather anxious and had almost half a mind to take a large step forward and tug on Rey's sleeve to politely ask if they could move indoors or somewhere less occupied. She wasn't given the chance however.

“What is she doing out of her cage?” 

Rey hadn't expected his anger. Annoyance, probably but he just completed a mission with her help and basically with her strategy! When he took a step forward, Rey was quick to move and place a hand on his chest.

“Finn!”

The pitch in her voice caused Phasma to jerk her head toward Rey, briefly looking bothered but when she saw Finn, her eyes softened, not perceiving him as threatening at the moment. Angry, yes but nothing to be worried about. She took a step forward, closing the gap between herself and Rey.

“Congratulations on a successful mission,” she said with a bow of her head to both Poe and Finn.

“Thanks,” Poe responded hesitantly, not sure what to say to that.

Rey kept her hand on Finn’s chest.

“Finn,” she spoke softly now and he turned his eyes to her. “There’s no reason to be upset, alright?” She hoped he would calm down. He never usually got so angry. Rey wondered if a small part of him feared Phasma or was still intimidated by her and that’s why he acted so aggressive toward her.

“But why is she here?”

Rey wasn't sure Finn would understand but felt the need to tell him anyway. She shifted her weight from one foot to the other, eyes moving from Finn to Poe.

“I've been assigned the duty of being Phasma’s…” She couldn't think of a good word for it. Guard? Escort? “Keeper.” That wasn't any better and she winced slightly as it came out and saw the look on the boys’ faces.

“You're supposed to be busy training, Rey. Why would General Organa allow this?”

Rey sighed, dropping her head, unsure what to say but glad Finn’s voice was soft.

“Phasma offered to help,” she added weakly, knowing Finn wouldn't like it. “Before you say anything, she's already started and… and I don't mind it.”

Phasma's eyes looked to Rey as she spoke, maintaining a calm face but affected by Rey's words.

“You will be busy with Resistance duty while I on the other hand, have much time on my hands,” Phasma spoke up, looking to Finn. She remembered training him and there was no doubt he remembered it as well.

He appeared to be struggling with himself, brows came together in anger at Phasma but they turned to concern toward Rey. He reached out for her hand.

“If you think it's okay, then I agree with you.”

Rey smiled, appreciative of his understanding.

“Thanks, Finn.”

With that he dropped her hand and headed in the base with Poe who had put an arm around his friend as he hung his head. He was upset with the decision, Rey knew it. Maybe she should have been too.

“I didn't mean to ruin the reunion.” Phasma spoke behind her. Rey sighed and turned around to face her.

“You didn't. I was really happy to see him again. He just needs time to process it.”

“If you'd like I could remain in my quarters while the three of you spend time together. I am sure you wish for some time spent with them.”

Rey stared up at Phasma, wondering why she offered that solution. She didn't think Phasma wanted to go stay in her room yet she was willing to just so Rey could hang out with Finn and Poe. She missed the two of them and did want to catch up with Finn and let him know everything without Phasma's presence but… How could she be that rude to Phasma? Since when was she concerned with hurting Phasma’s feelings? _Would_ it hurt her?

“He needs some time to himself. I'm sure they're both tired. Tomorrow.”

Phasma's eyes brightened and Rey smiled.

“Tomorrow it is then.”

Rey looked over to the side, eyes falling on people walking across the hanger, either heading to a ship or to the base or to their quarters, she was sure. She looked to the direction Finn went, hoping he wasn't angry with her. She took a step, hesitating, before making another and then started walking. She wasn't sure where she was going.

Phasma walked right behind her. Not with her. It felt odd to walk together. Intimate. Phasma kept her gaze low, to the ground but still on Rey, not wanting to stray to far from her and get in trouble. She realized that she could just turn around walk to one of the empty X-Wings and fly off. A question passed through her mind.

“I wonder if they’re anything like TIE fighters.”

Phasma's voice awoke Rey from her thoughts and she stopped walking, turning to face Phasma, letting her come to her side before saying, “You’ve piloted a TIE fighter?”

“You sound surprised,” Phasma observed, keeping her eyes forward as she and Rey walked further away from the base.

“No - no, I just thought you were a regular ground trooper.” Rey grimaced at her own words, glad her face was out of sight at the moment.

“I started off that way.”

Rey looked up to her, wondering if like Finn, Phasma didn’t enjoy speaking of her time as a stormtrooper or as their Captain. However, Rey was curious. Her eyes fell to the ground, mustering up the courage to ask, to pry, before her eyes darted back to Phasma’s face.

“What was it like? Being a stormtrooper?”

Phasma let out a sigh, attempting to mask it as a chuckle but Rey knew better. She immediately regretted asking her that question. She always had the habit of asking too many questions when she was curious. However, Finn was tight lipped about it. She really wanted to know.

“It was my life,” Phasma began, dropping her head momentarily before resuming her watch ahead. “It’s all I’ve ever known.”

Rey tried to understand it. How it must feel like to only know what it was like to hurt others. She had to do some morally objectionable things in Jakku, but even she knew not to hurt an innocent person. Phasma has killed countless people. Did she regret it? Rey bit her lip before asking another question, feeling she would overstep her boundaries.

* * *

 

Had Rey known exactly what Phasma’s training would entail, she might have said no. Might have. Currently, it was a definite yes. Phasma’s training meant waking up when it was still dark out and running. _Running_. That was all she had her do for a half hour. Run. If she weren’t feeling like all her limbs were about to give out she might have taken in the scenery of D’Qar, the beautiful lush greenery, the sound of the wildlife. Rey had yet to explore D’Qar like this. Still, she was far too exhausted to pay much attention to it.

“Are you sure you’re not training me to be a stormtrooper?” Rey panted along their run, barely able to get words out within the first ten minutes.

“Maybe,” Phasma responded curtly, not looking the least bit bothered by their run while Rey was sure she was sweaty and sticky and… and she groaned at the thought of having to run for longer. How was this to train her in the Force?

It wasn’t just a simple run, Phasma had her run up hills only to run back down and then make quick turns, often with Phasma initiating them, resulting in Rey bumping into Phasma the first couple of times it happened. However as they started to return back to where they started, Phasma avoided the hills. 

“Self-discipline is vital when using the Force.” Phasma informed her once they had finished their run. “First step is breaking out of your comfort zone.”

Rey was left gulping at water, not really listening to what Phasma had to say. She didn’t think she would ever catch her breath. Phasma watched her for a moment, eyebrows coming together, but the glint in her eyes only showed amusement. 

Rolling up her sleeves, Phasma took a step closer. “Have you never been taught how to breathe, Scavenger?”

“ _ Yes _ ,” Rey panted as she plopped herself onto a boulder, annoyed with the use of "scavenger" even if it didn’t hold the venom it once did when Phasma spoke it. Her shoulders sagged, and she could barely keep her eyes open, so the idea of arguing with Phasma over the use of that name just didn’t seem worth it at the moment. 

“Do as I do,” Phasma instructed. “Breathe in,” she inhaled deeply. “Breathe out,” she said with a final slow exhale.

Rey followed, or at least she thoughts so until Phasma rested her hands on her shoulders. “Keep these down,” she spoke firmly with an equally firm hand keeping her shoulders down. “Breathe with this.” Phasma set a hand on her abdomen for a moment then returned it to Rey’s shoulder. “Right below your ribs.” She then took a deep breath once more to show Rey.

Rey attempted the breathing method, but didn’t seem to quite get it. Her breathing seemed impossible to be controlled and with Phasma so close to her she felt even more breathless. All her deep breathing was probably sucking up all the air near Rey. _Yeah, that was it_. Even though Phasma’s breathing was controlled, just like everything else about her.

“Ah,” she gave a groan of frustration, taking Rey's hand, which Rey actually allowed and didn't immediately pull back like she once did (guess she had Finn to thank for that). Phasma then set it on her abdomen. “You feel that?”

“Wh-what?” Rey tugged slightly at her hand and felt Phasma loosening her grip so she stopped her struggle, worried Phasma might give her hand back. 

Rey could only slightly turn her head away as she felt Phasma's stomach push against her hand. She had felt her own stomach and it was soft, squishy now that she actually had a good meal on a regular basis but Phasma's was the opposite. It was firm. Not hard but definitely nothing like her own. In reaction her fingers curled slightly as Phasma's abdomen pushed against her hand. That resulted in a soft grunt from Phasma as she jerked away, dropping Rey's hand.

“Sorry!” Rey apologized immediately worried it had come off like she was groping her like some pervert - but was Phasma  _ticklish?_

“It's fine.” Phasma muttered, giving her head a quick shake before pushing her hair out of the way, the moisture of her sweat keeping it in place for the time being. Rey refused to look at Phasma for a moment and she wasn’t the only one who had averted her eyes. If Rey had looked up at just the right moment, she might have seen a brief redness touch Phasma’s cheeks

“Now, do you understand what I'm talking about?”

Rey looked up and her eyes tried to find Phasma's but she seemed to be keeping her eyes to the ground and Rey nodded, humming in affirmation as she used her method to catch her breath.

“Good.”

Phasma rubbed at her mouth with her hand, eyes remaining downward and Rey frowned, eventually standing up. Her hands were at her side, going from balling into a fist, relaxing and back to a fist. When she opened her mouth to say something, Phasma spoke.

“Alright, I believe that’s enough running for the day.” Her eyes returned to Rey, picking her head up and returning to the composed Phasma that Rey was used to.

Rey continued to look to Phasma, a slight wince on her face, worried she had upset her despite Phasma not appearing upset. She remained sitting on the boulder and Phasma looked toward the distance.

“Follow me.”

Rey jumped off the boulder and followed Phasma as she led them to a clearing. Rey was able to hear the flowing water before she saw it. They had ran by it earlier so she wasn't sure why they came back to it now. Phasma walked toward the edge of the water, extending her arm behind herself, signaling Rey to stay put. She then squatted down and looked to be picking up something from the ground. Rey leaned over to her right to get a better look.

As Phasma stood, Rey caught the familiar sound of rocks clinking together as Phasma shook them in her hand. She turned to Rey, still giving them a shake.

“I figure before we move to something as dangerous as blaster shots, we can start with stones. Have you practiced stopping something in motion?”

Rey nodded, pausing for a moment before speaking. “Any chance I get.”

“Oh,” Phasma stilled her hand and let out a sound of surprise. Rey wondered if she was impressed. “So this should be easy.”

Without a warning Phasma took a stone from her hand and sent it hurling toward Rey. Rey put up her hand defensively and stopped it before letting it drop to the floor. With expectant eyes she looked back to Phasma.

“Excellent, Scavenger. Now deflect.”

She threw another stone and Rey sent it flying off to the side. Another stone and another until she was left empty. Phasma said nothing but Rey felt pretty pleased with herself, giving a small grin. Phasma squatted down once more picking up stones once again.

“Stop them.” She said giving Rey a second before throwing three stones. Rey flinched and managed to stop two. The third didn't get very far and luckily Rey was able to kick back her foot before it landed on it.

“Again.” Phasma reached down for more and wasted no time throwing them at Rey.

Rey picked up both hands, her eyes carefully running over the stones and stopping them in her their place before dropping them as Phasma sent more in her direction. Rey missed one or two at first but as they continued for a couple of minutes she started getting the hang of it. Phasma noticed it too.

“Deflect.”

Rey tensed as the stones were sent her way and as her fingers flexed back, they were sent off in various directions. However, not controlled ones. Rey gasped when she saw a stone smack Phasma right in the forehead and brought down her hand as she headed toward her.

“I am _so_ sorry, Phasma. I didn't mean to do it on purpose I swear.”

Phasma had lowered her head as she rubbed at her forehead with the heel of her palm. Rey realized she was completely worried for Phasma's well being and not for her retaliation. In the midst of her worries she heard a sound. It came out as a huff of air, almost a scoff. Rey's brows came together and as Phasma picked up her head she saw a smile for the first time. Phasma was laughing. Rey remained stunned on the beauty of it and when those blue eyes looked at her she felt an ache in her chest.

“I'm fine. I'm thankful they weren't blaster shots.”

Rey blinked, breaking herself out of her trance and took a step back, chuckling to herself, trying to hide the nervousness she felt.

“Yeah,” she responded weakly.

“We’ll work on that.” Phasma emphasized with a nod as her smile came down. Rey kind of missed it. It looked nice on her. “Let’s continue.”

It was Rey's turn to nod and so she backed up to where she was before ready for Phasma to resume the training. She steadied herself this time, making sure she was completely focused. Her focus was proving to be difficult though as her mind started to race with anxious thoughts and she started to feel unusual emotions. 

And Phasma was at the center of them.


	5. Shatter Out Loud

Rey should have been aware of this prior to training, but Phasma was an excellent instructor despite not knowing anything of the Force. She was able to pick up on what Rey needed fixed and once Rey started to address them, she improved; it wasn’t always by much, but it just felt right. As talented as Phasma was, Rey couldn’t believe this is what she learned from the First Order… if every trooper was as great as she… the Resistance wouldn’t stand a chance, but that wasn’t the case. Phasma was different. Better.

“Are you tired? Do you need a break?” Phasma’s voice had only the slightest concern, Rey wouldn’t have noticed it if she hadn’t already gotten used to Phasma’s usual tone.

Rey shook her head. “I’m okay to continue. Let’s do this.”

“Exhaustion works against you. You fall to instinct and instinct will erase your training.”

“I said I’m fine!”

Rey hadn’t intended to come off so harsh, but in her cloud of determination, she didn’t even pick up on it. Phasma straightened at Rey’s tone, but eventually relaxed, going into position once more, stepping up behind Rey, bringing an arm around her neck. This was a position that Phasma was uncomfortable with. She didn’t want to hurt Rey, but Rey needed to know how to defend herself if she got into positions like this, if she was without a saber and needed to resort to hand combat, but she had the power of the Force underneath her sleeve.

Phasma’s hold on her tightened and she felt Rey’s hands squeeze her forearm as she started to try to get out of her hold. It was easy to keep Rey in her hold as she squirmed and Phasma’s pressure only increased the longer Rey took.

“Focus.” She muttered.

Rey stopped struggling and shut her eyes, it was hard not to want to kick and push as Phasma’s hold tightened and she felt increasing pressure on her throat, but that was what Phasma had meant. She was resorting to instinct. Inhaling deeply, she felt the familiar buzz of the Force, could feel it settling in between the small gap between Phasma’s arm and Rey’s neck, ultimately surrounding her. With an exhale, the Force released a burst, pushing Phasma to let go.

At least that’s all it was supposed to do.

Phasma was sent flying back into the nearest tree, which was thankfully fairly close. Although it was unlikely that Phasma was relieved by that. Rey rushed to her side, feeling incredibly guilty at having injured her. This was not out of the norm for their training, but it hadn’t been this bad yet. Rey supposed it was only because they were Force training and not training with lightsabers.

“Are you okay?”

Phasma had already started to get to her feet once Rey got to her. She put her hand up before Rey came too close, then got on all fours. Rey’s own back ached in remembrance of being thrown against a tree, but she didn’t have Phasma’s resolve, she passed out shortly after while Phasma was already getting to her feet.

Using the tree for support, Phasma stood up, but still slightly hunched.

“Phasma?” Rey asked tentatively, hands clenched at her side, trying hard to not reach out to her.

With a flip of her hair, Phasma tried to stand up and for a brief moment it looked fine and Rey had to admit she lost her breath at that, but then Phasma’s eyes widened and she let out a groan and hunched over once more.

“Let’s get you to the medical bay.”

Rey wasn’t going to take no for an answer and either Phasma agreed or knew Rey wasn’t going to budge. Either way, she allowed Rey to come up underneath her arm and provide herself as a crutch as they staggered all the way to the medical bay. They had passed the hangar and some Resistance members stopped and looked, but upon seeing it was Phasma, many continued on their way, others eventually did so, but not without hesitation. Rey noticed that and couldn’t help but be disappointed in them.

“What happened?” One of the medical aids asked once Rey came in.

“I Force pushed her into a tree,” Rey added with a grimace.

The aid’s eyebrows raised and she paused before looking over to Phasma, helping her to the nearest empty bed. Phasma hissed as she sat, throwing her head back. She set a hand on her back, the other gripped the edge of the bed. Rey stood by, worried that she had done something terrible to Phasma. The aid sat on a stool and untucked Phasma’s shirt as she pulled it up to inspect her back. The front lifted higher and higher and Rey’s eyes were suddenly on it. Her mind went to the moment where she had her hand on Phasma’s abdomen and she found herself wishing it would lift itself higher. It was plain curiosity to want to know what was underneath.

Phasma groaned louder and Rey’s eyes darted up to her face as her eyes squeezed shut.

“Hey,” Rey whispered, coming closer, resting her hand very close to Phasma’s, she could reach out and brush their fingertips if she wanted. Phasma’s eyes opened and blue eyes looked to Rey. “Breathe.” She reminded her.

Phasma’s eyes held no anger or ill will towards Rey, even if she was the one who had hurt her. Phasma struggled to keep her face under control now that Rey’s eyes were on her. She didn’t want to appear weak and yet she couldn’t tear her eyes from Rey’s warm brown ones.

“It’s tender to the touch, but I don’t see any visible signs of a serious injury. You have full motion of your legs correct?”

Phasma nodded, bringing her shirt down, only for the aid to stop her.

“You haven’t come in for a check up on your wounds.” It was clearly a chastisement and Rey took a step back to allow the aid to move toward the front of Phasma. “I’ll need you to remove this.”

Rey was about to avert her eyes, not knowing where to look as Phasma started to remove her shirt, struggling with her sleeves as her back ached, but all Rey did was move her eyes to the exposed skin. There was a healing wound toward her right side, it looked to be in a healing stage and not infected, although Rey was no doctor. Rey would have liked to say that was all that kept her eye, but her eyes roamed and when Phasma completely removed her top, Rey’s eyebrows shot up.

An athletic support bra covered her chest, it was emblazoned with a First Order logo to its left and Rey frowned at that before her eyes moved to Phasma’s torso. Heat rushed to Rey’s cheeks, afraid to look at Phasma’s face, not wanting to know she had been caught staring, but Rey had never seen a physique like Phasma’s.

Of course Rey was aware Phasma had to be strong, but she never knew what physical strength entailed. The sight of how the muscles on her arms curved made Rey’s breath get heavier and looking at the definition on her stomach caused a heaviness in her chest. She was staring. Why was she staring so much? In an effort to stop, she looked back up and immediately regretted it. She caught Phasma’s eyes and quickly looked away, not seeing that Phasma did the same as well.

“This would have healed much better if you would have came in earlier,” the aid scolded Phasma. “I can see you’re a fan of scars, but let’s try to prevent them when we can, okay?”

Phasma gave a small nod, starting to put her shirt back on. Scars? Rey hadn’t even noticed any. Perhaps it was because she was too far to notice them. And not because she was distracted by other things. Phasma stood up, holding onto the bed for support, but eventually getting herself to stand straight again.

“If there's any swelling of the bruising, like a very palpable bump, bring her back in and I'll check it out. As for now some cold compress will help make it easier.” Rey was at a loss as to why the medical aid told her instead of Phasma but she was speaking loud enough for Phasma to hear, however it was clear Phasma didn't come back for check ups.

“Right,” was all Rey could say as Phasma was now starting to leave. “Thank you,” she said before catching up to her.

“Where'd you get that cut?” Rey asked as the doors to the medical bay hissed open upon their presence. It was no use pretending that Rey wasn't staring.

“When my armor gave under the pressure of the trash compactor it cracked and cut into my body.” Her tone held no anger, she retold it so clinically.

“Oh.” Rey let silence come between them for a moment. “So does that mean training is over for today?”

“Oh, you wish, Scavenger.” Phasma looked over to Rey with a smirk. Rey had a smile in return as she shook her head.

* * *

In spite of Phasma’s aching back and Rey's warnings, training continued normally for the rest of the week. Phasma was reluctant to allow Rey to inspect her bruising, but gave in once Rey said she'd refuse to continue if she wasn't allowed. Discoloration occurred as normal, but there was no bump and Phasma went on as if there was no pain at all. Rey wondered how she did it.

Rey had begun to feel confident in her grasp of the Force. She wondered why she thought she needed Luke in the first place. Phasma's teachings probably weren't even close to how the Jedi were trained, but Phasma made it clear she wasn't teaching Rey to become a Jedi, she was just helping her learn how to use the Force.

However, Phasma would argue against it. She had come on believing she could help Rey control the Force, but there was no control over the Force. Only allowing yourself to finally give in and use it. Phasma felt she was only chipping away at Rey's hesitation to open herself up to it. The growth was all Rey's growing immersion into the Force. She wondered if Rey knew this as well and if not, once found out, would she no longer see a use for her?

“You know, you don't have to keep wearing that uniform from the First Order.” Rey broke the patch of silence between them one early evening after training had finished for the day, dusk had arrived and the sun was coloring the planet with a beautiful hue of pink.

Rey sat on top of the hill, legs splayed out, leaning back on her arms, while Phasma sat crossed legged, hands gingerly placed on her lap. Rey hadn't even bothered to look over at Phasma when she spoke up, keeping her eyes on the setting sun. It was beautiful, just as beautiful as it was on Jakku, as it is on any planet she assumed.

In the time it took for Phasma to answer, Rey worried she had overstepped her boundaries. They hadn't spoken much about things outside of training for the past week. Even though Rey was bursting with questions she too was so focused in training that in the down time she was given she either slept, ate or spent time with Finn and that didn't leave her with a mind full of questions.

“It wouldn't be right of me to wear Resistance clothing,” came her calm, tempered voiced.

Rey frowned at that, eyes falling from the setting sun. Her head made a move to turn but she hesitated, before ultimately deciding to turn to face Phasma.

“Why?” Stupid question. Rey knew why. “You've been a great help to the Resistance. You're even helping me train.”

Phasma continued to stare at the sunset and Rey saw the light glimmer in her blue eyes. She almost forgot she had asked Phasma a question until she spoke once more.

“I've also killed a great deal of Resistance members. I've done heinous acts under the First Order. Nothing I do will ever erase that. The Resistance doesn't need someone like me associated with them.” Her eyes turned to Rey and Rey felt her throat tighten but didn't look away. “You've said it yourself remember? I've done awful things.”

Rey had said that. And it hurt her to know that Phasma hadn't forgotten. “But that was before -” she cut herself off not sure what she was saying or what she would say. Phasma kept her gaze steady, waiting and Rey had to readjust herself to continue. “That was before you changed.”

“I haven't changed.” Phasma looked away and set one of her hands onto the ground. “I'm the same person. Only I'm on the other end.”

Rey shook her head. “That's not true!” However, she could offer no reason for why it wasn't.

“Don't argue with me on this. I'll help you and the Resistance any way I can, but I will never be part of the Resistance.”

“Pha -” Rey began but she had already began standing up just as the sky started to spill darkness.

Phasma started to walk away and Rey watched, visibly upset. She started to doubt herself. Had Phasma not changed? Was Rey only imagining it? Hoping for it? Ultimately she stood up and chased after Phasma who didn't walk very far, probably because she couldn't.

“You could be so much more.” Apparently Rey didn't know when to take a hint even if that hint was from herself.

Phasma didn't bother turning around, remaining with her back to Rey, arms at her side and her head lowered. The uniform wasn't in its best condition. Rey could see small tears from where her armor had cut into her skin after being thrown into the trash compactor. It must have been stained with sweat and blood (she doubted it was given that much of a proper wash after she arrived and since).

“I can only be what I am.”

“This uniform isn't what you are,” Rey's voice softened. “This is Captain Phasma. That's not you anymore.”

Phasma remained silent, but Rey didn't miss the way she balled her fists. A hint of fear passed through her and she took a step back. Just in time for Phasma to turn. The moment between her lips parting and her saying something was too long for Rey.

“I… I'd like to return to my quarters. Training is complete for today.”

Rey stood still for a moment, before nodding. “Yeah… yeah, of course.” She then started to lead the way back to their rooms.

Ever since she was released from her cell, Phasma was given a room in the main living quarters. Rey considered it to still be a cell, she wasn’t able to leave the room without Rey opening the door for her, but she supposed it was better than the cell they had her in. Rey was relocated as well, living in the next room over. The whole walk was in silence save for the sound of Phasma’s footsteps. Rey hung her head in shame, knowing she had crossed a boundary, she had pushed Phasma more than she was willing to budge.

Yet, it wasn’t like Rey to give up so easily. She unlocked Phasma’s room which opened with a hiss as the door slid open and Phasma quickly entered. Before it could close on itself, Rey stepped in, the door clicking behind her.

“Phasma.”

She tensed at Rey’s voice, obviously not having expected Rey to enter. She turned around and turned on the lights to her room. Her brows came together at the sight of Rey, however it wasn’t with anger, more confusion.

“What are you doing, Rey?”

What was Rey doing? She just acted, but now here she was standing in Phasma’s room. Her eyes travelled but before she could allow herself to be distracted in Phasma’s room, she spoke.

“I wanted to talk. I’m really sorry for what I said back there. I should’ve -”

“You’ve done nothing wrong, Rey,” Phasma dismissed, relaxing her face and walking toward a chair.

Rey took the moment to look around. The place was cleaner than Rey’s room. Her bed was perfectly made, not a wrinkle to be found. The nightstand had books upon books stacked on top of each other. As Rey continued to look around she saw more books. Where had Phasma found the time to read these? Sometimes it felt like she and Phasma were together all day, but Rey realized that wasn’t the case. Especially not when she was in her cell.

The scrape of a chair against the floor snapped Rey’s attention back to Phasma who had pulled up a chair and had brought it near to Rey. Her head was lowered, her white blonde hair falling forward to obscure part of her face, but those blue eyes still shined underneath as she looked up to Rey.

“Have a seat,” she offered, her tone light, casual.

It wasn’t until Phasma moved to sit herself on her bed that Rey took the seat on the chair. She felt awfully small in the room and started to doubt her decision to follow Phasma inside. It didn’t help that Phasma was staring. Rey looked at her for a moment, before darting her eyes back down. Who was to speak first? Was it Rey’s turn? Phasma had tilted her head, obviously waiting for Rey to say something. Instead, Rey took this chance to look around once more, finish what she started. It might appear nosy - and maybe it was, but she would rather do anything else than look at Phasma’s face right now. Her eyes moved to a shelf, it had more books. That was really curious.

“Why do you have so many books?” Rey asked, as if it were a bad thing.

Phasma turned to look where Rey’s eyes were. “Why else?” A pause. “To read.”

“What are they about?” Rey was about to look back to Phasma when she saw something peek out from the pile of books. She pointed at it. “So they have given you other clothing to wear!”

“Yeah,” Phasma sighed, returning her eyes to Rey, rubbing her hands on her thighs, moving back and forth with each movement. “The books are whatever is on the base. Some belong to General Organa. Most are informational books about the history of the galaxy. There’s also some theoretical works about the Jedi.”

Rey turned her head to Phasma, surprised she was even reading all of that. “You’ve read all of them?”

Phasma shook her head. “Skimmed, mostly. For most of them I’ve always heard the First Order’s side. It was interesting to read how the other side observed history.”

“And the Jedi?”

“Like I said, they’re purely theoretical.” Phasma stood up and Rey leaned back into her seat, Phasma’s height still causing a tightening in her chest, still making her pulse quicken. She leaned over to pull out a book, causing others to move to fill the space it has taken, revealing more of the folded outfit Phasma had been given. Rey could only see the colors of them at her distance. They reflected Resistance colors. Shades of brown.

“This one has some pretty interesting theories.” She handed it over to Rey who gingerly took it in her hands, cracking it open. “I can’t say I believe any of it, but -” Phasma’s hesitation caught Rey’s attention as she sat back on her bed. “I just wanted to help you as much as I could. There’s nothing written about the Jedi. Nothing from the Jedi themselves at least. Most of it is from scholars who have theories about the Jedi, it appears some theories are widely supported. I don’t think it makes them any more true than the other.”

 _She did it for me_ , Rey thought and was incredibly touched by the thought as she looked back to the book in her hands. However another thought came to mind. “You know, Han told me that many people believed Luke was looking for the first Jedi temple. If he found it… there’s bound to be lots of information about the Jedi there.”

Phasma gave a short nod. “ _If_ he found it. _If_ it’s even left standing. Ren and Vader have done everything they can to prevent anyone from getting information about the Jedi.” Phasma’s tone was solemn and Rey wondered if she blamed herself.

It was Rey’s turn to look at Phasma as she looked away. They sat in silence for a while and Rey just watched her, wondering what was going on in her head. She quickly removed that thought from her own, worried she might peek into Phasma’s head by accident again. She didn’t want to violate her privacy like that.

With a sigh, Phasma ran a hand through her hair, pushing back fallen bangs and Rey felt her breath hitch at that, but she didn’t know why. She shifted in her seat, wondering if she should go, but remembered she hadn’t finished apologized.

“I’m sorry, Phasma.”

Phasma shook her head. It appeared they would always apologize when there was no reason to. Rey stood up from her seat, placing the book Phasma had handed to her on the chair and proceeded to walk out, but stopping once she walked past the folded clothes. She leaned over to pull them out of the pile of books.

“At least consider it. You’re not the First Order anymore.” She then set the clothing on the edge of the bed before walking toward the door and out of her room.

* * *

Finn was surprisingly okay with Phasma helping Rey get a hang of the Force. It was mostly because he went on missions frequently now. They were minor ones, such as checking out ally planets, investigating leads on Kylo Ren’s location. Rey was incredibly proud of him, but still felt bitter at being left on D’Qar while Finn was out there becoming a Resistance hero. He deserved every bit of it. She just wished they were doing it together.

He had a couple of days between his next mission, he was to return to Maz’s castle. It was to be mostly a friendly visit and as much as Rey wanted to go, she had training and knew she couldn't take a break from it.

To make matters even worse, it was time to give attention to what Rey had been dreading, lightsaber training. With the help of some Resistance members, such as Poe and Jessica, Phasma created pop up dummies which were scattered in an small forested area, tripped by pressure. While Rey didn't think she was ready for any of this, Phasma said it was important she got a better look at what she needed help with.

Finn decided to show up that day. Rey knew how much he enjoyed the lightsaber. She wished she did as well. But holding it in her hands just felt wrong. It reminded her of Luke and his rejection, it made her think of the two great Jedis who held it before her. Yet here she was unable to do a thing they did.

“You have thirty seconds to slice through as many of these as you can. Focus on your technique, keep your speed in mind.” Phasma had her hands clasped behind her back which made Finn grimace in remembrance of being trained by her.

As if able to feel it herself, Phasma unclasped her hands.

“Am I too late?” General Organa spoke as she came into view. Everyone turned to look at her.

“You're right on time, General,” Phasma spoke.

Rey's shoulders sagged. Not only was she going to be watched by Finn, but Leia as well? She started to feel pressure to perform well. What if everyone saw how horrible she did and lost confidence in the Jedi? All this weight was on Rey's shoulders and she was tired of carrying it.

“Remember, this isn't a test of skill. I merely want to see where you're at.” Phasma's tone was considerate and it caught Finn off guard. Rey had become used to her soft tone and was slightly relaxed by her words.

“Ready? Go.”

It began easy enough, Rey managed to slice through her first one, then the second and the third. As she followed through with a swing on the fifth one, she activated another metal pop up behind her. Startled, she took a leap forward before turning around. However in doing so, she activated another. Her feet shuffled and and she only managed to nick one, soon after going for the other, forgetting any form and technique toward the end. She was left panting, torso twisted to the right as she just finished a swing right when Phasma called the time. She looked to her first, wondering how she did.

“Eighteen. Well done, Rey.”

The praise made Finn’s head turn, not used to that from Phasma. Rey brightened up at it though, incredibly pleased Phasma thought well of her performance. She deactivated the saber and straightened herself out.

“Really? Was that good?” Her eyes travelled from Finn to Leia.

“You were great, Rey,” Finn complimented with a thumbs up and smile.

Leia answered with a bob of her head.

“Can I try?” Finn spoke up.

Rey's eyebrows lifted momentarily before coming down as she smiled and headed towards him, extending her hand out with the lightsaber for him to take.

“Of course you can! Go try it out yourself.”

He took the lightsaber in his hands then walked forward. Hesitantly, he looked to Phasma. She kept her eyes forward. She couldn't look at him, she didn't want to see how much he disliked her.

“To make it fair, your time has been cut to twenty seconds.” Finn didn't argue. “Begin.”

Phasma eyebrows knitted together in concentration as she watched Finn, wanting to make sure she picked up every detail of his movements. Her face began to soften and ultimately slackened in surprise at what she saw unfold before her. Finn moved with a fluidity she had never seen in him. He was always a great soldier and seeing him handle the saber, it was almost as if he was a natural at it. She realized she stopped counting and tried to pick up where she left off, calling time shortly after.

“Finn that was incredible!” Rey congratulated him first, coming up to give him a hug, barely tearing away from him to ask what his number was.

“Thirty.” Phasma said in an even tone not wanting to show off her surprise or her pride, afraid it might discourage Rey.

“Whoa!” The two looked at each other and laughed, but Rey wondered what that said about her. That she could barely make twenty in thirty seconds and he did thirty in twenty.

He handed the saber back to Rey and she took it, gripping it tightly.

“I kind of feel you should keep it. You’re clearly better at it than I am.” Phasma looked over at Rey, watching over her interaction with Finn. Far enough to give them privacy, but close enough to hear.

“Hey, don’t say that. You just need more practice Rey.”

Rey shook her head, keeping her eyes down. “I don’t know what it is. I should feel comfortable with it. Maz said it called to me at her castle. Why does it feel so strange now? It’s - it’s like it’s not for me.”

“That’s because it isn’t.” Phasma spoke up, coming closer, much to Finn’s dislike. He wouldn't turn his back to her, instead, coming up next to General Organa who had been observing the two as well.

“Look, your tactics may have worked with the troopers, but negative reinforcement isn’t going to help here.” Finn spoke up, taking a step closer to Phasma, but keeping his distance.

Phasma’s eyes went from Rey to Finn. “I wasn’t trying to deter her.” She returned her eyes to Rey. “That saber was created for Anakin Skywalker before he turned to the Dark Side. It was only natural the saber reached out to his son who is force sensitive.” Phasma looked to Leia, hoping she didn’t overstep any boundaries mentioning her family.

“So where do I come in?” Rey asked, not sure what Phasma was trying to say and it seemed neither Finn nor Leia knew either.

“Maybe the saber just called to the nearest force user it found, I don’t know. But what I'm assuming is that the reason it feels strange is because that is not the saber for you.”

“But when I was fighting Kylo Ren -”

“You used the Force,” Finn answered. “The Force helped you in that fight Rey.”

Rey's eyebrows furrowed as she lowered her eyes, bringing her shoulders up defensively. “What are you all trying to say? That I didn't bring any skill to the fight? That if it wasn't for the Force I would have lost?”

“Rey,” General Organa’s voice cut through before anyone else could speak. “Using the Force isn't a sign of weakness, it's there to help you.” She reached out to rest a hand on Rey's shoulder.

“You're incredibly gifted, Rey.” That caused the three to turn heads to Phasma. Finn shot her a suspicious look as he narrowed his eyes but he was beginning to realize that Phasma was being genuine. “By the time we are done here, Ren won't stand a chance.”

Rey gave a weak smile before dropping her head, not sure whether she believed that. Finn put a hand on Rey's shoulder.

“Hey,” he spoke softly, ducking his head as well to meet her eyes. “You've got this, Rey. You're the only one who can save the galaxy.” His words were supposed to be comforting but it only reminded her of the constant pressure to succeed.

Wrapping an arm around her he pulled her to the side to continue his pep talk, wanting to encourage his best friend who he had been seeing less of since he became an active Resistance member.

General Organa watched them with a smile but when Phasma came closer, her attention diverted to the woman in front of her.

“General, excuse me for having kept this information to myself for so long,” she began with.

“What is it?”

“Rey needs a saber - her own saber.”

“Is that really necessary? I always figured any lightsaber works--”

“I know the location of where Ren found his Kyber crystal."

Leia remained silent, keeping her eyes on Phasma as she had lowered her head, clearly upset at having kept this to herself for so long. The two then turned to look at Rey.


	6. Make This Chaos Count

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for taking so long to bring this to you, I'm still dealing with an injury that makes writing difficult but I am still very interested in continuing this series. Thank you to all of you who have commented and read my work, I am so honored with every new kudo or bookmark.

“There's no way this is happening without me,” Finn interrupted the chatter among Leia, Rey and Phasma, turning all eyes on him in the Command center. Besides the three of them, it was empty, almost as if it was cleared out. They couldn’t run the risk of people overhearing.

After Phasma and Leia talked it out, the next day they informed Rey of the plan and she was absolutely excited at the chance of having her own lightsaber. She didn’t think of the potential danger she would be in.

“Finn, you've got a mission to do,” Rey urged.

“No,” he shook his head. “This is more important.” He then looked from Rey to Phasma. “You're talking about First Order territory. This is dangerous.”

“Finn, it'll be fine. I'll bring Phasma with me and she'll make sure we enter the outer rim and leave the outer rim safely.”

“Phasma is coming? General,” he pleaded. His trust in Phasma wasn't strong. What would keep her from turning Rey over to the First Order to regain her title?

Leia raised a hand, understanding Finn's worries even if they weren’t her own. She still found Finn to be a capable member in the Resistance.

“Finn, you may go. Phasma as well.” The two exchanged looks, Leia didn't want to regret this decision of allowing Phasma to go on a mission like this. Phasma wouldn't dare let that happen. “This stays between us. If anyone asks where the three of you are, you're training. Understood?”

The three nodded in unison.

“Now for the ship…” that was the tricky part.

“It's important we get something fast, in case we have to outrun Imperial ships,” Phasma informed.

A light came on in Leia’s eyes, a smile slowly forming. “I know just the one.”

Phasma gave her a confused look but Rey had a smirk on her lips, knowing exactly what ship she was referring to. The Falcon.

* * *

Rey welcomed Chewie back with open arms. She ran to her friend, embracing him in a tight hug. She didn't see him much after their return since he shortly left to Takadona. Rey didn't blame him. He was still in grieving after all. They had spoken about it aboard the ship. He told her all the stories he had with Han and the ones he had even before him. However, she never did get to hear much of what he did before he and Han partnered up.

“I’ve missed you too,” Rey spoke into his fur after he roared.

The others walked up to him and each was one he recognized but when he got to Phasma, he roared once more.

“This is Phasma,” Rey introduced. “She - she's been helping us.”

His roar was far more louder this time, recognizing that this was the woman behind the helmet. Phasma's fists clenched at her side but she remained firm in her stance, not choosing to inch away from the Wookiee that had managed to get the best of her on Starkiller base.

“Chewie it's alright,” Rey set a hand on him, keeping him from moving forward even if she knew her strength was no match for his. “She's on our side.”

“I mean you no harm, Wookie.” She bowed her head to him, trying to show him respect.

He let out a soft growl and a few more titters in Rey's direction and she smiled up at him before giving him a few pats.

“Knew you'd understand.”

“I've already informed Chewie of our plans, he's agreed to come along with you all,” General Organa spoke. “I take it you'll be leaving tonight?”

“Yes, it's for the best to leave early morning so as to not bring attention to our travels,” Phasma suggested, looking to everyone else to see if they agreed to it as well.

“I agree,” Leia spoke for everyone. “Before you make your preparations, Phasma, may I have a word?”

Rey looked from General Organa to Phasma, eyebrows coming together. It appeared she was the only one who seemed to care what these two were up to as Finn tried to talk to Chewie, even if he still didn’t understand him.

“Yes, General,” Phasma said and followed Leia to the side, out of earshot.

Rey tried not to let her focus on it and instead turned back to Chewie, happy they were back together. Not only that but her two best pals were coming with her on an important mission. It really was exciting.

“I know you understand that I am showing a great deal of trust in allowing you to come on this mission.”

Phasma merely nodded.

“I'm holding you personally responsible for Rey's safety and for the safety of everyone on board, understood?”

"Yes, Ma’am.”

“Very well, follow me.”

Leia began walking, not bothering to see if Phasma followed her but she did, quickly coming alongside the General. She was curious as to where they were going but decided to hold in any questions she might have.

They walked past the command center, Phasma's eyes travelled around momentarily but she paid attention to the General’s movements until they turned into a familiar passage. They were heading to her office.

The door shut softly behind them and Leia pulled out a case, Phasma almost asked if she needed any help with it as it was a very large and probably very heavy metal case. Fortunately, the General lifted it onto her desk and began unlatching the clasps.

“I figured it was time to give this back to you.” As Leia opened the case and stepped aside, Phasma saw what was inside. Her blaster.

Phasma reached out to touch it but stopped, looking over to Leia to make sure it was alright to touch. With a small nod, Phasma ran her fingers over it, realizing she had missed it. And her armor. In that moment she felt guilt knowing what they stood for. However, Leia was willing to give her back her blaster. Did she not understand the shame that came from something like this?

“I will never know how to fully express my gratitude toward all you've done for me, General.” Phasma said with a bow of her head.

Leia then shut the case.

“It'll be on the ship by the time you board.” She informed her.

“Thank you.”

“There is another thing I wanted to speak with you about.”

Phasma's brows came together momentarily as she tried to figure out what it was.

* * *

Rey gave Phasma’s door a slight knock, knowing she could have unlocked it on her own but she wasn't sure if Phasma wanted her to enter. It was late, almost turning to the moment where they'd need to head to the Falcon. Rey was going to turn around and head back to her room when she heard Phasma's voice through the comm.

“Come in.”

Rey quickly unlocked it and the door slid open. She was not expecting what she saw on the other end. Phasma had a towel around her shoulders, the blonde hair was more dry than wet, but enough moisture managed to keep it down.

“Is there something you needed?” Phasma asked, standing at full attention with her hands on her hips. Rey was realizing Phasma was preparing for bed. Having gotten used to seeing her in all black it was surprising to view her in something different, something that obviously wasn't from the First Order.

Rey realized she was staring at Phasma much longer than she had intended and blinked, awakening herself from her thoughts.

“I can't sleep.” She said with a wince hoping Phasma would have some pity for her.

She refused to look her in the eyes, afraid to find judgement or annoyance. Instead she got a smile and a gesture to take a seat.

“I didn't think I'd get much sleep either.”

A sigh escaped her lips as Phasma reached for something on her nightstand. Rey recognized it as the black shirt she normally saw Phasma in. Her eyes remained on Phasma as she took a seat on the bed with Rey and began to fix the slight tears in the shirt.

“Why don't you just throw it away?” Rey asked before realizing she had her old outfit sorted away somewhere. Still, unlike Phasma, she wouldn't bother fixing that thing up.

“I’d have nothing to wear.”

Of course she thought that. Rey let out of scoff, not understanding why Phasma was so reluctant to wear something besides that horrible undersuit. It was from the First Order and that wasn't Phasma anymore. Why couldn't she see that?

“Do you still want to be part of the First Order. Do you miss it?”

Rey's words made Phasma still her movements but her eyes remained on the shirt. It felt like a long time passed before Phasma said anything and Rey might have been scared about her wrath some time ago but now she just wanted the truth, wanted to know if she was hoping for all the wrong reasons. That Phasma was really nothing more than a monster.

“Do you miss Jakku?” Phasma turned to look at Rey, blue eyes unrelenting. “It's a harsh planet to grow up on. An unforgivable wasteland. Do you miss it?”

Rey almost said no but couldn't help but feel some offense at her home being called a wasteland. She struggled with a response but ultimately nodded.

“I miss having order in my life. I miss the weight of my armor on my shoulders, the smell of warm metal, the feel of my cape. I miss knowing without a doubt that I was doing the right thing, that I was a woman of honor and respect.” She turned away from Rey, eyes facing up to the ceiling. “I miss home.”

Rey's eyes fell to Phasma’s hand. It was within reach. She could touch it, offer some physical comfort, something Rey found she liked herself. But she kept her hands to herself.

“All I've ever known was the Order. We were doing the galaxy a great deed, they told us. We were the ones who would create balance where the Jedi failed. It was our duty.” With a sigh she looked back to Rey. “I've seen a great deal of this war, Rey. I was younger than you when I entered my first battle. It wasn't to terrorize a village like Finn had. There were no moments to decide what was right and wrong. The Order was losing troops drastically and myself and a group of fresh troopers were sent out to back up seasoned troopers. It was either me or them. All I knew was that it wasn't going to be me.”

Rey remained silent afraid that she might say something that would stop Phasma from sharing this. She had been so tight lipped about everything that getting this insight was entrancing.

“Not one in my squad lived to see the end of that day. People I trained alongside for all my life up to that point, they were gone. We lost so many troopers that day. I often wondered what it was about me that made me survive when they didn't. I still don't know what it is. Maybe I was just lucky that day. Maybe the ones who died were the lucky ones, I don't know.”

“Maybe you were just a really great stormtrooper.” Rey offered, not realizing what she had spoken.

“What does that make me now?” Phasma returned her eyes to her shirt, resuming her sewing. “Who am I if not the person I've been my whole life?”

Rey never knew who she was, where she came from and while Phasma didn't either, she had created an identity for herself and now everything that was related to that identity was gone. Not only that but there were people telling her to completely reject it. All she had left was the undersuit of her armor.

“I've been doing more harm than good my whole life. Do you know what it's like to realize that?”

Rey stood quiet, not knowing how to answer. Phasma continued to sew.

* * *

When it was time to board the Millennium Falcon, Rey and Phasma were the last ones to come on. It seemed they missed the memo on arriving earlier than they planned to. That didn't matter though, Rey immediately headed for the cockpit, Chewie alongside her as Finn and Phasma trailed behind her.

It was a sight for Phasma, seeing this ship that everyone talked about. Never did she believe she'd ever be on it. Looking at Rey she gave a hint of a smile, amazed at how natural she looked as she prepared for departure. Finn’s eyes were heavy on Phasma. She could practically feel them but chose not to confront him.

“Can you put in the coordinates, Phasma?”

Phasma turned to the the console Rey was pointing at and  walked closer as she bent down to punch in the numbers. She looked over at Rey and the two exchanged a look before The Falcon began to take off.

Stepping back, she grabbed ahold of a pipe, knowing what was going to come next. Finn too reached out to hold something while they made the jump to hyperspace. Phasma adjusted her footing once things settled and Rey started to get out of her seat, eyes already on Phasma, a smile coming on her lips. Phasma had to admit, it was infectious and her blue eyes brightened at the sight of it.

“So, should I give you the tour?”

Chewie didn't allow Phasma a response, roaring in objection, clearly having trust issues with Phasma. Who could blame him?

“What he said.” Finn spoke up and all eyes turned to him as he had his arms crossed and tried to appear menacing.

Rey just found it endearing and laughed. “You don't even speak Wookie!” Rolling her eyes she turned her attention back to Phasma. “C’mon.” And led the way.

It started with Rey listing off the different compartments, pointing out some stories she had, some that Chewie had told her. Phasma listened, or at least Rey thought so. She remained quiet only occasionally giving a small hum of a laugh when it was due. Rey felt like she needed to reach out to her. They didn't end last night on bad terms but Rey didn't want Phasma to regret opening up to her.

Eventually though, Rey didn't have much else to say and it soon turned to them walking around the Falcon in silence. It wasn't something Rey was uncomfortable with, Phasma wasn't a woman of much words and Rey had accepted it by now, gotten used to it.

And yet Rey felt her throat itching to speak.

“About last night -”

Rey had stopped in her tracks and Phasma turned around, arms behind her.

“Are you going to apologize?” There's a hint of a tease in Phasma's voice and Rey lets out a nervous breath.

“No - I only wanted to say thank you. For opening up. For telling me what happened.” Tentatively, with eyes on Phasma, Rey reached out to run the tip of her fingers along Phasma's forearm.

“I've hurt so many people, Rey.” Phasma has guilt in her voice. It's not prominent but her tone isn't clinical like Rey's used to. “Please don't pity me for what happened when I was a child. I've made many choices since then.”

“Like the choice to leave the First Order and help the Resistance.” Rey’s fingers curl around Phasma's arm and she grabbed it, held it.

“Time and time again I've chosen myself. Always myself. Always what was good for me.” Phasma tugged at her own arm, the volume in her tone rising but Rey isn't budging.

“So have I!”

They're playing tug of war, Rey insisting Phasma is good and Phasma refusing to believe she could ever be anything but evil.

“There you two are,” Finn's voice snapped them out of it and Rey is quick to leave Phasma's arm alone. “We’re almost there.”

If Finn noticed something he didn't mention it and Phasma and Rey only exchanged a glance before following him in silence. Rey didn't know what it would take to make Phasma understand that she was doing the right thing now that she wasn't a horrible person. Rey didn't know when she stopped seeing her that way.

As they reached the flight deck, they jumped out of the hyperdrive. Rey reached for Phasma for stability, her mind glossing over the fact that Finn was right beside her and she and Phasma were practically having a fight back there. They looked at each other once more and Finn's eyes moved to them, full of distrust but respectful enough to keep it inside.

Immediately they're met with floating rocks and the Falcon began to get hit by them. Rey jumped into her seat, trying to maneuver away from them. “What's going on Phasma, you didn't say you were taking us to an asteroid belt.”

All eyes turned to her, except for Rey who remained focused. Phasma watched, brows slightly furrowed.

“This is what's left of the planet. The Death Star destroyed it a long time ago.”

“You sent us to a wasteland?” Finn was the first to speak and Chewie definitely had something to say about it.

Phasma came close, pointing a finger in front of them. “There,” the rocks shifted, allowing a view of a significantly large portion of the planet. “That's the place.”

“How can you be sure?” Rey asked but wasn't challenging her knowledge as she began to head for it.

“I just know.”

No one said anything to that. Not even Finn. In that moment no one had a choice but to trust Phasma and Rey would be lying if she too didn't just _know_ that was the place too.


	7. The Courage of Stars

“Okay, Phasma and I will go out and search the cavern for a crystal. Finn, I want you to stay here with Chewbacca.” Rey readily gave her order as the three circled around her. However Finn was troubled by the thought of Rey being alone with Phasma.

He hesitated before speaking, “Rey, I think I should go with you.”

Finn looked to Phasma, as if pleading with her to agree with him, but ultimately, it remained Rey’s decision and Phasma was willing to follow whatever Rey thought was best, even if that meant she wasn’t included and had brought along a blaster for nothing.

“No, if we get into some trouble and need to take off quickly, you’re the only person who can handle the gunner position.” She reached out and put a hand on his shoulder, trying to reassure him. “It’ll be fine, Finn. Promise.”

With a pursed smile, he nodded and Rey gave him a pat before turning to head down the ramp. Before Phasma could follow, Finn spoke to her.

“Please keep her safe.”

His tone held no anger, no bitterness that he had to wait on the ship while she and Rey went off to investigate. Phasma turned to look at Finn, caught off guard by his plea and could see the genuine concern in his eyes. She nodded, a pursed smile coming to her lips, not sure much else would be able to reassure him.

Chewbaccca’s roar turned her eyes to him next and in his hands he held her blaster. It remained in all its shining glory and for a moment, she doesn’t want to touch it. She’s gloveless, she’d sully it. However, that ingrained response isn’t her anymore.

She takes the blaster.

Rey was already waiting for her, taking a look around what was left of this planet. In its darkness it looked even more desolate. The minimal light cast large shadows over the place, making it difficult to discern where one rock formation ended and another started. It was definitely not a place Rey wanted to explore alone. The only light came from a cavern in the distance. With a rifle ready in hand and a saber in another, the two began to tread toward it.

Both were overtaken by how immense the cavern was once inside. Phasma had never taken foot in this place before, but the First Order’s presence was found throughout it. They came across the occasional trolley of rocks, digging and mining tools, even the lights that helped them make their way further into the cavern were artificial lights that Phasma recognized as being from the First Order.

“I have a bad feeling about this...” Rey breathed, yet her tone held no fear, only caution. She was too distracted by everything to allow much fear to settle in.

They came across multiple options for passages and despite neither of them truly knowing where their destination lied, Rey just knew where to go. There was no hesitation. The moment she saw the right path, she took it. Phasma didn’t say a word and followed close behind her.

Even after what felt like hours of walking, neither of them voiced any doubt, no fear that all the crystals had been mined. Rey didn’t know if she was just being optimistic by continuing to move forward.

“Do you think this used to be covered with crystals?” Rey had asked as she stopped for a moment to take in an especially large opening in the cave.

Phasma took a minute as well to look around. The ceiling was far above them, they must have been deeply underground by now.

“It’s possible. The Empire mined most of them from this place. It’s no wonder all Ren found was a cracked crystal.”

Their travels brought them through twists and turns, one moment they took a passage to the left and the next they needed to take one to the right. Rey didn’t give it much thought, keeping in her mind to just go forward. It was like she had some navigation in her mind, as if she had been here before, something going off like, _oh_ , there it is.

“I hope you’ve been keeping track of our path because I haven’t,” Rey joked with a smile.

However, Phasma said nothing.

Frowning, Rey turned around, wondering if she had actually worried Phasma with her joke. Upon turning, she saw Phasma had stopped walking a while back and had turned her head to an alternate route behind them, one Rey didn't have any doubt not to take. With a tilt of her head, Rey observed for a moment before calling out her name.

“Is everything alright?”

That seemed to have got her attention and Phasma continued walking to catch up to Rey, who stood in place until she did.

“Sorry, I - I thought I heard something.”

Phasma looked just as confused as Rey felt. She even turned back to give it another look.

“Let's just find you a crystal and get out of here.”

“Agreed.”

Eventually, they came across a passage that created a couple of problems. For one thing, it wasn't so much a passage as it was a crack in a cavern wall. Not even small enough for a child, so Rey and Phasma fitting into it was out of the question. When Rey told Phasma they needed to get to the other side of that crack she worried she wasn't going to be listened to. They had been walking for a while and Phasma had remained silent with every decision Rey had made.

“There were some tools to crack through the rock not too far back.” She was already starting to remove her blaster from her shoulder. “I can go get it and -”

“That'll take forever, Phasma.”

Even with Phasma’s strength, she couldn't break through that thick rock fast enough. It was then Rey remembered what she had in her sack. She pulled them out, one in each hand.

“Explosives.”

“It should work, right?”

Despite Rey’s beaming face, Phasma looked at the cavern around them. Eyes moving past every jagged rock just a couple of feet above them.

“Or cave us in.”

Rey sighed, her shoulders falling as she looked up at Phasma

“Have some hope.”

Rey didn't wait for any approval and stuck the two explosives to the crack in the wall before turning them on. She ran to Phasma, who was using a large boulder as a shield from the blast.

As the explosives went off, Rey leaned into Phasma, bracing herself. She didn't feel Phasma’s arms around her until everything settled. She was pressed up against Phasma's chest and Phasma even leaned over to cover her from above. Rey wasn't even sure if the blast touched them with how well Phasma had covered her.

“Um.”

The two slowly split from each other and thankfully the awkwardness was short lived as Rey soon noticed her idea had worked and even better, the light has crept into the new cavern and lit up the room, its brilliance surpassing its light source. The crystals were littered along the cavern wall. Rey was momentarily stunned staring at the preview the opening had offered.

Phasma made the first move toward the opening. She had never seen anything like it. Rey followed closely behind, what was left of the wall crunched underneath their feet. With the amount of crystals they could make _hundreds_ of lightsabers. Rey was in complete awe, turning and turning, her eyes catching each crystal.

“Do I… just pick any?” Rey still made no movement toward one and she had no idea why Phasma would know the answer, but asked anyway.

“I'm not sure. I believe so.”

Finally, they tore their eyes from the crystals only to look at each other. Phasma gave a hint of a smile, eyes aglow with the light reflecting of the crystals, incredibly proud of their discovery but also proud of Rey being able to take the next step.

Rey gave a small nod before turning back to look at them. She walked closer to the wall and right as she was going to grab one within reach, she pulled her hand away. Something was wrong - not with the crystal itself but Rey had felt that same sensation she did when she found the lightsaber, that pull.

Turning around her eyes scanned the walls full of crystals with each looking like the other, before settling on one. _That's it_. Rey wasted no time moving toward it only to arrive and find it completely out of reach.

Fitting.

“Uh, Phasma?”

“Coming.”

Rey wasn't sure how to ask for a lift and thankfully, Phasma was already setting herself up to help without being asked. Providing her hand as a step, Phasma then hoisted Rey up.

A hand was able to grip onto the crystal while Rey's other remained on Phasma's shoulder, trying to keep steady. Phasma seemed unbothered by that weight, no trembling, just completely firm and secure. It was Rey's nerves that made her wobble. She gave the crystal a firm tug but nothing.

“Everything alright?” Came Phasma’s calm as ever voice.

“Um, yeah, it’s just - just hard to pull out. Am I supposed to mine it?” Rey looked down only to see Phasma already looking up at her. That was unexpected and her eyes immediately looked away.

“Try both hands.” Rey wanted to argue. “I've got you. I promise.”

Rey tentatively lifted her hand from Phasma’s shoulder, the further she moved her hand away, the more vulnerable. Phasma could drop her and yet Rey continued, putting both hands on the protruding crystal.

The crystal gave easier than Rey had anticipated so she was immediately sent off balance with Phasma struggling to steady her until it became clear they were both headed for the ground. Phasma could only readjust them so that she took the brunt of the damage from the fall.

While Rey was thankful Phasma thought of her safety first, their ultimate position was a bit more uncomfortable than Rey would have liked to deal with. Rey was completely on top of Phasma as she laid on her back and Rey really didn’t want to have to look up from Phasma’s chest to look at her face.

“Sorry…”

She had to, unfortunately, if only to apologize for getting them in this situation. Picking up her head, she only saw Phasma’s bright blue eyes looking back at her. Maybe they could have remained in that position a while longer if it wasn’t for Phasma’s blaster pressing into Rey.

Once to their feet, Rey cradled the crystal in her hands. She saw that it was much larger than they had initially believed, with another crystal formation jutting out of it. She felt Phasma come up behind her to get a look at it as well.

“Is it supposed to be a different color?” Rey asked as she looked over at Phasma. The crystal, just like the rest in the cave, were in an opaque form, but Rey wasn’t sure she had any choice in what came out of her saber. However, she knew she didn’t want it to be red, the color of Kylo Ren’s saber, the color of the First Order. Anything but that.

“I’m not sure. We should head back to the Falcon.” Phasma’s hand settled on Rey’s shoulder, directing Rey’s attention to it. She was used to Phasma being in close proximity but having it outside of training was proving to be… confusing, to say the least. With a half smile, Rey nodded, ready to get out of the cave, but before she left, she gave the room another look, hoping they could come back and retrieve these one day.

Rey let out a breath in relief as they finally came out of the cavern and walked toward the Falcon. It was incredibly silent just like they had started. The whole thing was so tranquil. Just the two of them with the sound of Rey’s shoes shuffling against the dirt and Phasma’s boots thunking against the ground. The silence was easy, though. Neither of them felt compelled to speak and they actually had been walking silently alongside each other for a good while now.

Although, Rey did want to say something.

The moment was stolen as the familiar whir of a TIE fighter came within earshot. Dread washed through Rey, slowing her movements. Luckily for her, Phasma was quick and just as she heard the sound of the ship's fire, she felt Phasma’s hands behind her before she was thrust a great distance away, carried by the force of the blast.

Blasts echoed in her ears, they sounded so far away and everything was moving so slow, her body included. Once the strength to pick her head up came to her, everything came rushing back with it.

Panting, she got to her feet. The Falcon was shooting at a moving TIE fighter and Rey was trying to figure out what to do. _Phasma_. “Where’s Phasma,” she breathed, unable to get her voice past a whisper as she looked around, eyes trying to see through the cloud of dust that was just settling around her.

“Pha… Phasma.” Her voice trembled as it rebuilt its strength while she staggered along. She didn’t see her.

“Phasma!” The yell was choked out by the roar of an exploding TIE fighter.

“Rey.”

It was a hint of a voice barely filling her ears, distant and yet Rey jerked her head behind her to the source, seeing Phasma getting to her feet. Her skin was exposed, what was left of her black shirt hanging off her like a rag and waving off her shoulder. She clutched onto her side as her other hand held her blaster. Bright red blood was in stark contrast against her skin and Rey’s chest tightened at the sight. Once again, she was too slow to act and before she could take another step, a TIE fighter appeared. Phasma didn’t have to turn around to know.

“Go! Leave now!”

The Falcon was currently keeping the enemy ship busy, but how long would that last? Could Rey make it in time to bring Phasma back? Rey’s fists clenched and unclenched in indecision. Phasma turned to the TIE fighter and began firing, pulling attention to her so Rey and the rest of the team could make their getaway. There were no longer any question on where her loyalties lied. She was literally willing to sacrifice herself for the Resistance. Rey looked back to the awaiting Falcon. Closing her eyes, she ran, wanting to waste no time. Her feet pounded against the ground.

Phasma continued shooting and when she managed to get a good shot in, she knew she had its attention. Maybe it had been ignoring her due to recognizing their former Captain, but Phasma wouldn’t stop shooting. She wasn’t their Captain anymore.

Three bolts were fired and their red streaks headed toward her. Knowing it would be her last, Phasma made sure she set herself up for a good final shot, but was never given the chance to shoot.

Rey crashed into Phasma, one hand wrapping around her waist, the other outstretched toward the TIE fighter.

“Rey, what are you doing?”

“What you taught me.”

The shots came closer and closer until ultimately… they stopped moving altogether. With another push from the Force, they were sent hurling back to the TIE fighter, exploding it before it got the chance to change directions.

Out of breath, they both let out a strained laugh and Rey fully wrapped her arms around Phasma, pressing her face against her warm back.

“I wasn’t sure that would work,” she confessed.

“You must have a pretty good teacher.”

Rey could only laugh once more and embrace Phasma even tighter, her eyes squeezing shut as tears eased out of the corner of her eyes.

* * *

Chewbacca ended up helping Phasma into the Falcon, Rey couldn’t carry Phasma too far once she started stumbling and throwing more of her weight onto Rey. While she wanted to keep at her side, Rey knew she needed to get them out of there because more TIE fighters would definitely arrive, if they weren’t already. Once they were a safe distance away, Rey jumped into hyperspace as Chewbacca came to her side in the cockpit.

It was Finn who came out of the gunner position and headed to Phasma. It took him a moment, looking at his former Captain, bleeding, in need of medical attention. Their eyes met and he moved toward her. She tried to keep her eyes on him but the pain was too much to bear to keep her eyes open. Now that the adrenaline was coming down, more pain started to creep in.

Eyes opened when she felt a hand on her arm, looking up only to see Finn. His eyes were on her arm however and he began to gently bandage it, trying to stop it from bleeding. Neither of the two could believe what was happening. Phasma set her head back and let Finn work. He was always careful, although his patching up did occasionally sting, when Phasma hissed through her teeth, he stopped until she nodded. It was all done in silence and Phasma kept her eyes shut, feeling incredibly exhausted.

“Thank you.” Finn’s words were followed with a squeeze to Phasma’s forearm.

Opening her eyes, Phasma met his and reached over to set a hand on his forearm as well. She said nothing, both unable and not knowing what to say, but hoped she said enough with her actions. He managed to give her a small smile, it didn't quite reach his eyes, but it was a start.

The sound of incoming footsteps caught both of their attention and Finn turned to see Rey standing at the doorway, eyes moving from him to Phasma.

“Are you - “

“She’ll be fine.” Finn reassured, standing up and letting Phasma’s hand fall away.

Rey looked to her best friend, smiling, grateful for what he had done. With a hand on her shoulder, Finn left the room. Rey rushed to Phasma’s side before she was even sure he was gone, knowing that she couldn't be the only one who was worried about her.

She didn’t look too bad after Finn had cleaned her up, but she was covered in bandages which didn’t mean anything good, did it? Rey felt her words knot up in her throat. She didn’t know where to start and instead just stood there, staring down at Phasma. Reaching out, she brushed away her bangs from her forehead, Phasma’s eyes fluttered shut in response to the gentle touch.

“I can’t believe you did that.” Rey finally spoke, voice as soft as her touch as her hand returned back to her side.

Phasma’s eyes opened at the sound of Rey’s voice and she looked at Rey with such tenderness. Rey moved to take Finn’s seat and she looked at Phasma’s hand, refusing to let any perceived distance between them prevent her from touching it. So she did, without hesitation.

“You can’t say you’re not one of us now.”

Phasma shifted, trying to sit up and speak but Rey shushed her and put a gentle hand on her shoulder to keep her down.

“It’s okay. Just relax. We’re heading to D’Qar now. Once we get there you’ll see a medic and everything will be fine. I need you to take it easy for now.”

Rey’s other hand now gently rubbed against Phasma’s. As Phasma shut her eyes Rey continued to look at her, watching her carefully. Phasma was willing to sacrifice her own life. She must have thought she wouldn’t see her again. That was all Rey could think about. As important as Rey knew she was to the Resistance, she too was willing to risk it all just to bring Phasma back with them.

When Rey was sure Phasma was sleeping, she leaned forward, touching her lips against Phasma’s forehead, where she had brushed her hair away. Phasma opened her eyes in reaction and when Rey pulled back she saw Phasma had woken up - or maybe she hadn’t even slept.

“Oh - I -”

Sentences weren’t forming in her mind, she couldn’t justify the kiss in case Phasma asked. Rey wasn’t even sure why she did it. She was so caught up trying to form sentences, or at least words, that she didn’t notice Phasma bringing a hand to her cheek until they made contact. The touch silenced Rey as she processed this act, this touch of affection. Her eyes focused on Phasma’s and she kept them on her until Phasma dropped her hand and Rey stood up.

“I’ll be right back,” she managed to say in a hushed voice and left the room.

It was odd. It left Rey expecting _more_ and she wasn’t sure what that meant, to want more. Rey wanted to kiss her, _thought_ she was going to be able to until she didn’t.

Coming just outside the room, she leaned against the wall as she let out a long exhale. She wanted to kiss Phasma. The idea should feel odd, Phasma was her instructor, a mentor and Rey was just someone trying to save the galaxy, but it didn’t. Did Phasma want to kiss her back? Rey did not have time to be thinking about this. She was in the middle of war, training to fight Kylo Ren - potentially to the death. Now, was not the time.

But, if they successfully defeated the First Order, wasn’t Phasma going to be sentenced for her actions against the Republic? If not _now_ then it’d be _never_. Despite knowing this, Rey continued walking further away from Phasma. There couldn’t be an _ever_. It wouldn't be right. 

It’s not like they were in _love_ , much less could Rey be sure feelings were reciprocated. It was hard _not_ to admire Phasma. Rey had never met anyone like her before. It was just a little crush. Just like all the other little crushes she’s had in her life.

It was nothing and with time it’d go away. It had to.

Finn came across Rey in her worried state. He didn’t say anything but gave her a concerned look of his own as he stepped closer. Of course her best friend would know something was wrong. Rey hated and loved it at the same time. In return, she paused and gave him a weak smile before she continued walking, passing him. The smile wasn’t enough for him to never bring it up, but her dismissal was enough for him to understand to give her some space and wait until she was ready.

Once they dropped out of hyperspace, Rey was relieved to finally be on D'Qar. Home. She would finally get to work on her own lightsaber! Maybe it could wait a day or two, make sure Phasma was fully recovered. It was was something she wanted Phasma to be a part of anyway, just like she had been a part of her this journey.

As she exited the cockpit, she saw Chewie helping Phasma off the freighter. Rey didn’t get the chance to meet Phasma’s eyes when she passed and for that Rey was thankful. The last thing she wanted was to think about her crush on Phasma. It was beyond embarrassing.

Sighing, she got off the ship only to be greeted with what felt like the entire Resistance base, it was like when she got back from meeting Luke. It was odd, that she hadn't thought of him in a while. It was almost like he reverted back to that myth she used to believe. They all seemed happy to see the crew and Rey wondered if Leia ultimately told them where they had gone. Rey could only hope after sharing what happened, Phasma would be respected around the base. She looked to see where Phasma and Chewie had gone only to find her eyes on Leia, giving her gentle smile.

Happy to see her, Rey started to head toward her, eager to tell Leia of their travels. However, Rey stopped in her tracks when she noticed who was beside her. For a moment she wondered how it could be.

Luke. Luke Skywalker had come.


	8. 'Til the Sirens Sound

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Long time no see guys :) sorry for the wait. I'm hoping to finish before Episode 8 is released.

The anger that overcame Rey surprised her, completely unaware she held all that anger for him. Every muscle in her body was tense as Leia directed them into her office for privacy. Rey wasn’t sure she could even face him. He had looked at her and saw nothing and now he was here, for what? To rub it in? To finally admit that he had made a big mistake?

“Rey.” The voice was _so_ gentle, yet it carried the heaviness of age with it. “I am so sorry for what I did. I’d like to explain myself to you.”

With arms crossed, Rey remained with her head turned away from him, willing herself not to look at him. Leia stood aside, but not far enough where she couldn’t jump in. Maybe she was unwilling to leave them alone, but Rey knew no matter how angry she was, she couldn’t harm him. He was Luke Skywalker. She eventually conceded with a nod.

Luke let out a long sigh, as if he too were holding something inside him for much too long.

“I felt you long before you landed on that planet.” He began, a hand coming to rub against his mouth. The room was so quiet that she could hear the soft bristling of his beard against his hand. “That summit was not our first meeting, my dear.”

A frown deepened on Rey’s face and her eyes finally moved to Luke only to see a face that was just full of regret. A question remained on her tongue, but he cleared his throat to continue.

“After my father passed, new Jedi began to rise. It was beautiful. So many young children came to me, so many families trusted me to teach their children the ways of the Jedi. I felt incredibly blessed when I found my own nephew, Ben, among my pupils.” He sighed, lighter than before, recalling happier moments. “As much as I felt it to be my burden to teach, it was amazing at how much they were capable of, how much all my job was to guide them to the Force. I’ll admit I started to wonder if this was how I would spend the rest of my life.”

Rey kept her gaze on Luke as he stared off into the distance, growing silent, his face solemn before brightening up. “I never even told my own sister about this.” He chuckled, casting eyes at Leia who smiled wistfully at him. “A fellow Resistance member caught my eye. Neither of us were entirely sure what we were doing, but she was a woman I cared deeply about. I only wish I had more time with her. Our affair was brief, she had Resistance duties and I, a duty to the new generation of Jedi. We never told anyone. I suppose I had a bit of shame in our relationship. It was something that shouldn’t have happened, it’s not the Jedi way and yet, I don’t regret a thing.”

His eyes then turned to Rey, they had already begun to mist.

“Our relationship spawned a child. That child is you, Rey.”

Rey’s whole body went slack as her arms uncrossed and she took a step back. Her own eyes began to water and her brows wrinkled together. The man before her, Luke, was her father?

“Are you saying you’re my father?”

He nodded.

“And you just left me? On Jakku? Only to get rid of me again once I found you?” Rey took a step toward him, her anger flaring.

“You must understand, Rey. When Ben turned to the dark side, he slaughtered his fellow Jedi and you would have been among those. I had to leave you where he and the First Order would _never_ find you. I couldn’t let you come with me because I knew if they ever found me, you would be the galaxy’s only hope.”

“How could I’ve been? You never even trained me and when I went to you, you turned me away!” The tears spilled down Rey’s cheeks as she got closer to Luke.

“You were among the many force sensitive children I had in my care, Rey. You were only about eight when Ben attacked. You were supposed to leave with your mother… only she never made it. I’m so sorry, Rey. I was afraid. You had so much potential and when you returned I was worried I'd fail you like I failed Ben. I’ve been running from my mistakes for a long time now, but I’m here to face them. I’m here to finally fix what my family, your family, has done to this galaxy. And I’d like to have you with me. Not as my jedi apprentice, but as my daughter.”

With a trembling lip from Rey, Luke closed the distance and embraced her.

* * *

A flash of Snoke’s face sprung Phasma up from the bed, breath coming in pants, awakening from nightmares that continued to plague her ever since Rey broke into her mind. Unfortunately current events didn't allow her the proper time to piece together memories that faded the longer she was awake. Swinging her legs off to the side of the bed, they trembled as she stood up but eventually regained their strength. Wounds had barely enough time to heal, but they weren't the worst she's faced. Just more scars to add to her body. The only thing that kept Phasma in the medical bay was having to put on her new clothes.

The light tan color of the top gave her the same feeling as her armor, a fear she'd dirty it, a sense to keep it constantly in pristine condition. She smiled as the color drew another similarity - the rags Rey had once worn. Her fingers ran over the thick material before pulling it over her head. She then turned to the buttons that began on her left shoulder down to her wrist and she meticulously began to button the sleeve. She couldn't help but touch it once more, the material going from smooth to ribbed in an asymmetrical fashion, from where her neck met her right shoulder and coming across to her left arm. For a moment she wondered if this was _made_ for her _._ The resemblance to the way her cape used to sling over her shoulder was close, but it was different. There was no cape and she wore no colors of the the First Order.

“Phasma.”

It was a sight for Rey, who had grown used to seeing Phasma in all black, now in something lighter. She was so overtaken by the sight she forgot what she had even come to see Phasma for.

“How are you feeling?”

A smile pulled at the corner of Phasma's lips as she took a walk closer to Rey, fingers dragging against a table as she moved past it.

“Like I just survived a blast by a TIE fighter.”

Rey kept her eyes on Phasma as she came closer. Now that she had acknowledged her feelings it was all she could think about when she looked at her. She only hoped that it wasn't obvious.

“How do the clothes fit?”

Phasma looked down at her outfit, hands tugging at her dark tan pants, adjusting them and lifting up her new brown boots, checking it out. She shrugged in response.

“It'll do.”

This time Rey wasn't looking at Phasma, missing the soft blue eyes staring down at her. Rey reached out to run her fingers over the ribbed sleeve, similar to her own, fiddling with a button. Phasma watched before reaching out to touch Rey as well. Her touch is as soft as her voice as her fingers gently brush Rey’s cheek.

“Thank you.”

Rey dropped her hand as she closed her eyes, not knowing how she was going to continue to hide these feelings. Her own hand then came up to rest over Phasma’s and she smiled, eyes still shut. Phasma wet her lips as if building up the bravery to speak something but a flash of light above them snatched their attention as an alarm followed. Instinctively, Rey moved closer to Phasma who responded with putting an arm over her shoulder as they wondered what the alarm was for.

Rushed footsteps entered the medical bay.

“First Order ships are heading this way!” One Resistance soldier informed the room.

Rey and Phasma glanced at each other before Phasma went back to her bed, grabbing her blaster at the foot of it and slinging it over her shoulder. Together, they exited the infirmary, looking for the others. Phasma walked stiffly but never voiced any pain and for a moment Rey had forgotten that she was suffering from fresh wounds.

Ultimately they all came together by the Falcon. By then the First Order had begun doing damage to the base. Rumbles and explosions sounded off near and far and when a TIE fighter whirred by them an X-Wing managed to stop them in their tracks before heading off to shoot down more ships. With a visual tally, it was clear Poe was among one of the pilots.

“I’ve got to go help them out.” Finn pointed up toward the sky with his thumb. “Our numbers still haven’t recovered since Starkiller.”

Rey nodded, understanding that the base needed all the aerial help they could get. Reaching out to put a hand on his shoulder, she gave it a gentle squeeze. “Be safe.”

Finn gave a short nod, glancing over at Phasma next. They met eyes and with a bow of her head he turned and jogged away.

Before they could discuss what to do next, C-3P0 came walking about, R2-D2 not too far behind him. “Master Luke and the Prin - General are nowhere to be found.”

Rey stepped toward him. “What do you mean? I thought they were on the Falcon.”

All that were left was her, Phasma and Chewie. They didn’t have time to split up and look for the both of them. Not to mention Rey wanted to help those on the base who couldn’t get to safety fast enough. She grimaced, not knowing what to do, not experienced with leadership, uncertain of where to go next.

“Where were they last seen? They probably went to help others.” Phasma spoke up, hands naturally coming to stand at her hips.

“Master Luke said he would go look for Leia by the command center but they’ve been gone for too long now, I fear the worst.”

“That was the first place the First Order attacked,” Rey muttered, hand coming to her lips, worried something had happened. Her heart pounded at the added stress of it all, the possibility for the greatest heroes of their time to have all been brought down one by one by the First Order. If they couldn’t survive it, how could she?

“I’ll go.” Phasma took charge, holding her blaster in place. No one seemed to challenge it, maybe they were as stunned as Rey was.

“Wait - that’s the center of it all. That’s where we’re running away from.”

Phasma looked over at Rey, turning to her. “It’s fine. Luke and Leia can take care of themselves, they just need someone to clear the way. You help the rest of the base get to safety and keep the Falcon running when I bring them back.”

As much as Rey wanted to argue with her - which was a lot as it came from a place of worry for Phasma’s well-being, she couldn’t come up with a solid reason not to let her go. It was a sound plan. Instead she could only give Phasma a pleading look. Unfortunately, Phasma didn’t give in. She touched her arm and gave a pursed smile before heading off in the twins’ direction.

* * *

The sounds of blaster shots and the roar of ships weren’t foreign to Phasma. However, the first time she had to actually stare a trooper face to face, she was surprised how fast she was to pull the trigger. She knew them, had trained many of them and here she was, on the other end. None had yet to show any hesitation, it didn’t seem they recognized her and for that she was grateful. She wasn’t sure she’d recognize herself either if she saw her reflection.

What was left of the base was crumbling, leaving parts exposed and as Phasma walked through the remains of the command center, she heard familiar voices.

“Ben, listen to me, you don’t have to do this. You can come home.” Leia maintained her distance from him, but had a hand reached out to her son.

His mask had yet to come off and his saber was holstered but that didn’t mean he wasn’t a threat.

“My name isn’t Ben.” His helmet filtered out, his tone steady, not the least bit of emotion in it. “Now step aside mother, I’ve got a Jedi to catch.”

Leia made no point to move and actually stepped closer. Kylo changed his stance, unleashing his lightsaber and igniting it.

“I know you won’t hurt your own mother.”

“I said get out of my way.” This time his voice had a hint of frustration in it, familiar to the Kylo everyone had gotten to know, just a short fuse, needing little to ignite.

Phasma stayed back, knowing if she made herself known, Leia might get in between them or worse it would cause his temper to rise and he would hurt her in the process. While she was a woman who had endured so much, Phasma didn’t want to take the risk. Still, she kept her blaster in her hands, ready to shoot if need be.

“It doesn’t need to be like this, Ben.” Luke’s voice sounded as he stepped from some rubble, pulling back his hood. In the movement of his cloak, Phasma saw the familiar lightsaber that Rey had carried. She hadn’t known Rey had returned it to him. In this moment, Phasma was relieved.

Despite having his mask, Kylo was caught off guard and moved back, taking a more aggressive stance as the two moved around, sidestepping, neither coming close enough to be threatening.

“How fitting this is where I end you, old man.”

He lifted his lightsaber and charged for him. Phasma aimed her blaster and shot. The bolt hit his hand, causing the saber to fall from it. His fear bristled and in that cloud of fear at having been caught on his back, when Leia made a move toward him, he shot out his hand in her direction, the other pulling his saber back to him. For a moment it looked as if he had only stopped her in her tracks, but then she reached for her throat, an invisible force crushing the air out of her.

“Ben!” Luke pleaded, pulling back his cloak to reach for the lightsaber.

“Do it and I’ll kill her.” He looked back to Phasma before turning his attention back to Luke. “I’ll end both of my grandfather’s disappointments right here.”

Phasma had no choice but to lower her blaster, looking to Luke for guidance and then glancing over at Leia who continued to struggle.

“My father never wanted this.” Luke said, his voice losing softness, recalling back to the sight of his father dying in front him, to his funeral, his smiling face when, through death, he finally freed him from the grip of the Empire and Darth Sidious.

“Liar! He spoke to me. Told me to continue his plan. To finish what you never could. There is no peace without order.”

In his rage, it took him a moment to realize what was happening. His hand trembled and when he turned to Leia, she was hunched over, gasping for air. She had broken out of his hold. Phasma took the moment to aim and Luke reached for his saber. Kylo was too preoccupied with the danger around him that before Leia could stand he sent her flying to the nearest pile of debris.

“Leia!” Luke called to her, lowering his saber, and heading toward his sister.

Phasma took the chance to shoot out two bolts only for Kylo to turn and block them with his lightsaber. She moved, not wanting to give him the chance to freeze her, rolling out of the way. Luke’s movement caught his attention next and before he could reach Leia, Kylo sent him off with a wave of his hand to a pillar left standing.

As if Phasma were the least of his threats, he headed toward Luke. Slowly moved around, staying behind the cover of knocked debris, blue eyes caught sight of a lightsaber only some feet away. Phasma bolted to it, not wanting to take any chance that Kylo would see it and her moment would be lost.

Catching his attention, he turned to her, annoyed more than anything until he saw her pocket the saber, immediately lifting her rifle next, shooting one bolt after the other. He knocked them off with ease, making strides toward her.

“I should have known you were spineless. A blaster to the head and you'd do anything to save your pathetic life.”

Phasma kept backing up, not knowing when her back would touch a wall but willing to keep shooting until she did. Especially if it helped Luke and Leia recover and get to safety, she was willing to buy them time. It was the least she could do.

“Here you are a pet for the Resistance. You - a former Captain of the Stormtroopers, reduced to _this_.” To punctuate his word, he began to tug her by her rifle toward him. Quickly, Phasma slipped out, giving a roll in case he tried something else.

With a growl of frustration he sliced the rifle with his saber, letting the pieces fall to the ground. No use trying to get that back. Phasma stood, her body lowered, not sure what to expect from him. A quick glance over at Leia’s position told her that Luke had stood up and was now helping his sister to her feet.

They exchanged looks, calling Kylo’s attention.

“Go! I’ve got this!” Phasma yelled at them. Neither must’ve been in proper condition for a match with Kylo and Phasma wasn’t either, but she could hold her own long enough for them to get to the Falcon.

Or so she hoped.

Kylo was a step away from turning to them and Phasma couldn’t let that happen. Reaching into her pocket, she looked down at the lightsaber in her hand… then chose to ignite it. Kylo jerked his head toward her at the sound.

“That’s not yours!” He yelled, fully turning his body to her, raising his lightsaber. “Give it to me!”

With that he headed toward her. Phasma backed away and when she met resistance, ducked and moved away, his lightsaber striking against a data tower. She kept moving, not feeling capable enough to dance around with a lightsaber.

Yet, she wasn't fast enough and the two soon touched sabers. Her retreating, him closing the distance.

“I should have known the Resistance would have picked you up. Should have foreseen your betrayal. You tarnished your whole squadron.”

Phasma gritted her teeth as she blocked his swipe at her, trying not to listen to his attempts at distracting her.

“You want to know what we did to your troops?” He voice filtered out from the mask in between his heavy breaths. “We took them out. A dozen at a time. Had them line up in a row - and executed them.”

Phasma faltered, catching his comment. If she hadn't backed away he would have stabbed right through her.

“They didn't even see it coming until they had blasters pointed at them.” He let out a laugh that sickened her. “And as for the troopers who helped you escape Starkiller base?” Phasma struggled, her attention shifting to the stormtroopers who had been killed because of her. “They faced a fate worse than death.”

“You're a monster.” Phasma spat at him as they locked sabers, his strength pushing his closer to her. She could feel the heat emanating from it.

With a shift of his weight, he twisted the sabers, causing the blue lightsaber to be pulled out of Phasma’s grip and thrown up and sticking itself into what was left standing of the cracking ceiling. Given that it was her last weapon she darted for it but not without slipping and falling back. Even if she had reached it, the lightsaber was higher than either of them to grasp.

Kylo was in front of her now and she could only try to shuffle back until she decided this was it and she would face her end bravely. He lifted his saber above his head.

“Goodbye, traitorous scum.”

In reaction Phasma lifted her hand in defense, bracing herself for the strike. Only something different happened. The lightsaber dislodged itself from the ceiling and came to Phasma’s palm, her fingers instinctively wrapping around it.

Both stunned, Phasma opened her eyes and lowered her hand, eyes on the lightsaber in her hold. Kylo took a step back.

Before either could react further, rumbling broke the silence. The ceiling in front of them was beginning to come down. In an instant chunks started to fall, causing Kylo to move further away and Phasma to scramble to her feet, saber still in hand.

The path to her caved in completely, blocking Kylo out.

Turning on her heels she was ready to head back to the Falcon only to find Luke waiting for her. 

* * *

Rey had to check on Leia once she had put the Falcon into hyperspace, not wanting to waste time after hearing what happened to her. To all three of them. She shouldn't have been surprised Kylo was willing to murder his own family. Her gut twisted at the thought that she had a kinship with him now.

Thankfully, Leia was even tougher than she looked and she and Luke would be just fine after some rest. Finn had managed to hitch a ride with them too. He kept with Chewie, the two of them trying to converse with each other. After C-3PO started panicking Leia shut him off without hesitation, claiming he'd thank her later.

As she patted R2-D2, which resulted in a positive flurry of beeps and whistles, Rey met eyes with Phasma across the room. Despite the effort she had made, Phasma looked uncomfortable on the ship, her head lowered and hands wringing in front of her, trying not to make eye contact with anyone nearby. With a tilt of her head, Rey motioned Phasma to follow her out of the room and into one of the hallways aboard the Falcon, somewhere isolated.

After walking alongside each other for a few steps, Rey was the first who spoke, happy to have something else occupy her mind other than her parentage.

“Leia told me what happened. That was so brave of you. You've not even healed properly yet.”

Phasma shrugged, dropping her glance to the floor. “It was the right thing. I hadn't expected Luke would have come back for me, honestly.” That was the most surprising.

She had thanked him for the help with the lightsaber but he simply urged that they had to hurry to the Falcon. Since then he'd give her a look over Leia’s shoulder every now and then and Phasma wasn't quite sure what the problem was. 

Rey reached out for Phasma's forearm, giving it a tug as she stopped in her tracks, well away from the others. Phasma looked to her.

“Why are you so keen on sacrificing yourself?” Rey's words ended in a slight chuckle, finding it amusing, hopeful the reasoning would be light-hearted as well.

“I'm the most expendable out of anyone in the Resistance. If I must suffer so that your people can get to safety, so be it.”

With a sigh, Rey dropped her hand, taking a step back and making sure to meet her eyes.

“You're part of the Resistance.”

With a blink, Phasma looked away, letting out an irritated and breathless, “Rey.”

“Don't ‘ _Rey_ ’ me.” She poked a finger into Phasma's chest. “The moment you put this on you became one of us. Your life is as valuable as any other.”

Phasma gently moved her finger away.

“You don't get it. I've committed crimes against the New Republic. I'm going to be punished for them eventually. I'll never be part of the Resistance.”

Rey's face twisted in anger.

“So you're just - what, trying to get yourself killed before justice is given? You're looking for an easy way out of whatever they decide to sentence you with?”

Phasma's brows momentarily incline, before returning to her usual expressionless face.

“Yeah. I'm a coward like that.”

Taking a few steps back, Phasma then turned to walk away.

“Wait,” Rey cut through softly, coming to Phasma yet keeping her head down, not wanting anyone to hear what she was going to say, afraid it revealed too much. “I don't want you to get hurt.”

A silence made Rey regret being so open, feeling as if Phasma was less emotional than she.

“It's a bit late for that isn't it?” Phasma lightly retorted but respected Rey's vulnerability. “I don't want you to worry about me, Rey.”

Rey fidgeted, still keeping her eyes low as she raised a shoulder. “It's a bit late for that.” She mumbled, a smile pulling at her lips.

Phasma broke into a small smile before bowing her head but instead of it having left it only moved to a small grin. Rey picked her head up at that time, without words for that moment, still not having gotten used to Phasma's genuine smiles.

“So, where's their new base?”

A blink broke Rey from her thoughts and she shook her head. “I don't know, we’re not going to their base.”

Brows came together at Rey's response, looking at her as she started to walk away.

“Where are we going?”

“Jakku.”


	9. A Final Puzzle Piece

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was written and planned before Phasma's novel came out so it will not match with that canon.
> 
> Also happy Force Friday, everyone!

The sun had set on Jakku by the time they arrived. Rey landed the Millennium Falcon among the debris of a fallen Star Destroyer. It provided well enough coverage in case the First Order came to Jakku - which was the intention after all, for them to follow Rey to Jakku instead of going after the remaining members of the Resistance. Hopefully they’d get some time to breathe until then.

After having been cooped up in the Falcon, they headed a few paces out into the desert and Rey started a fire, thankful the wind wasn’t too strong that night but the cold was biting. It wouldn’t be best to sleep outside for the night but for now, the temperature could be tolerated as everyone gathered around in the fire.

Almost everyone.

Leia remained in the Falcon, trying to reach someone at the Resistance base. Rey figured she also wanted some time alone after what happened with her son. Chewie and the droids headed to the nearest outpost for food and water. It'd probably take them a couple of hour before getting back - Rey wasn't sure if anything had changed since she left but she knew it took quite a bit of walking to reach one.

The silence among the four of them was proving to be awkward, almost as bad as when Rey let Finn and Phasma know that she was Luke’s daughter. After the initial shock, neither of them knew what to say and Rey was thankful they were all respectful to not bombard her with questions. She hadn’t been able to speak with either of them about it alone, but really it was the last thing she wanted to talk about. Just thinking about it… it gave her more problems and pressure than she had before.

Rey dragged her fingers against the sand, having found that she had missed the grainy feeling of it in her hands. Yet, it didn’t provide any comfort now, only made her feel distressed, knowing that what comforted her before did nothing now.

“It’s been a while since I stepped foot on sand,” Luke spoke up, bringing all their attention to him. He had a small smile as his eyes swept over every rise and fall of the sand dunes. “I grew up in a desert world.” He cupped a handful of it, opening his fingers to let it spill between them. “I haven’t been to Tatooine since I left to join the Rebellion.”

“Do you miss it?” Finn asked, sitting cross-legged, leaning back on his hands.

Luke’s warm eyes turned to him, smile still on his lips. He dusted off his hands. “No. I was never really happy there. Not as happy as I thought at least.” His eyes looked to Rey. “I just had some good memories there.”

Rey couldn’t maintain the eye contact and eventually dropped her eyes, looking over at Phasma who kept her gaze on Luke. Her chest tightened as she enjoyed the sight of how the shadows moved across her face with each flicker of the flame. Bringing her knees to her chest, she crossed her arms on them and rested her head, hopeful the darkness masked where her gaze truly lied.

“In isolation, I learned a lot about myself and what I want the future of the Jedi to be.” His eyes turned downward, to the fire. “When I was training young Jedi, the teachings of Obi-Wan and Yoda were what I tried to build on. I felt immense pressure to have the weight of the future of Jedi to be placed on my shoulders. I was not much older than Rey when I began my journey. I realized, that’s not a burden I want to put on anyone else.” He looked to the three of them. “Being a Jedi is not the only way to study the Force, it’s not the only way to use the Force. I don’t believe it’s even the only right way. My sister never had any interest to pick up a lightsaber and look what she’s accomplished.” He smiled softly, proud of Leia.

“What if we want to be part of the Jedi but we’re not force-sensitive?” Finn asked, head lowered, voice almost in a mumble.

Rey looked to him, a frown coming to her face as she hadn’t been aware Finn had any desire to take part in being a Jedi.

Luke gave a low chuckle in response. “My boy, you _are_ force-sensitive. Most people are blind to it all their life. After all, if you’re never given the opportunity to hone your skills, how can you be expected to know?”

Finn brightened up at that. “What? Me? Really? Are you sure?”

Luke nodded and Rey smiled at Finn as he looked to her. He definitely reacted a lot better than she did. She still wasn’t sure she what kind of part she wanted in all this, if she wanted any part at all, but what she wanted was often disregarded, it seemed.

“All three of you are. In varying degrees.”

“What?” Phasma leaned forward, looking to Rey then back at Luke. “I’m not - I can’t be.”

Luke sighed, bringing his head down as he shifted in the sand. They all watched him closely.

“It seems more of my students escaped than I thought.” He ran a hand over his mouth, fingers curling underneath his beard. “I didn’t recognize you at first and even if you bore resemblance, I knew your history as a stormtrooper and didn’t think my memory held any weight. But when I saw what you did with that lightsaber -”

“What did you do?” Rey asked, interrupting Luke.

“I didn’t do anything. It was Luke who -”

“It wasn’t me. You called that lightsaber to yourself.”

Phasma let out a scoff, leaning back onto her hands. “That’s not true. If the First Order knew I was force-sensitive I would have been brought to Snoke immediately. He would have trained me. He…” Phasma stared deeply into the fire, the space between her brows wrinkling as she fought off frustration, maybe even sorrow.

“I hope you’ll forgive me for this Phasma, but Ben was exceptional. Most of the children in my care were not the strongest with the Force, but that didn’t mean they weren’t force-sensitive. A lot of children had difficulties with it. You were among them.”

“Do you know who I was?” Phasma asked, voice low.

Rey wanted to move closer to Phasma and actually scooted over, but hid it as resettling into her seat, afraid to go any further in front of everyone.

“It was as much a place for force-sensitive children as it was an orphanage. There were some whose parents I never met, whose name they chose themselves. I -”

It clearly was not an answer Phasma wanted as she continued to stare into the fire.

“Why don’t I remember…” She spoke aloud, but the question wasn’t directed at anyone in the group. She knew. All the nightmares she had been having since Rey looked into her mind must have had something to do with it.

“I picked up some mental tampering. If you wouldn’t mind, Phasma,” Luke began, his voice gentle as he leaned forward. “I’d like to work with you and figure out what exactly went on. Perhaps there’s mental blocks to prevent you from remembering. Maybe I can help you find something from your past that can give you answers.”

Phasma’s nod was barely visible.

“Not now, though.”

Luke understood. Rey kept her eyes on Phasma, briefly wondering what she must be thinking before remembering she went through a similar experience. She too knew what it was like to get your world turned upside down. For some, like Finn, the idea of it was a relief, but for Rey it felt more cruel than anything to learn the life you lived just wasn’t what you thought it was. Both Rey and Phasma didn’t only get this revelation once, but twice.

“Luke, can I talk to you about something?” Finn spoke up but his voice was soft so as not to disturb Phasma.

Luke nodded, starting to get off from the ground. Finn quickly went to his feet, reaching out to help Luke up. The two walked in the direction of the Falcon. Rey could hear the low murmur of Finn’s excitability and she had to smile as she saw the two of them. The shifting of sand brought her attention back to Phasma.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Rey asked, scooting closer.

Phasma continued to stare into the fire.

“I can't be a Jedi.” She said, finally lifting her eyes from the fire only to look off into the sky.

“You don't have to be. You heard him. Leia is force-sensitive and she's a General!” Rey actually felt a bit of relief that there was more to being force-sensitive than joining a generations old society.

“Do you remember when I told you about my first battle as a stormtrooper?”

Rey looked down until she recalled it, nodding when she did. “Yeah, where no one in your squad survived.”

Phasma rubbed a hand over her mouth before looking over at Rey.

“I don't remember one thing from it. I remember being so scared leading up to the battle but I don't remember from the moment my feet touched the ground to the moment I woke up at the infirmary. They said I was out cold for a day.”

Rey listened, not sure where Phasma was going with this.

“All the stormtroopers who could have told me what happened that day died in that battle. Only moments after waking up I was approached by Brendol Hux and taken to Snoke and introduced to Kylo. I used to believe what everyone told me. That it was a difficult battle with lots of casualties on our side. What if… what if I did something?”

“I don't understand. What do you think you did?”

“I don't know. But I must have done something that got them all killed. All I'm good for is getting people around me killed.”

Phasma ran her fingers against the side of her head, closing her eyes and falling silent. Rey sat next to her, respecting the silence that fell on them and not pushing for more information. Since Phasma had yet to say she wanted to be alone, Rey assumed she didn't mind her company so they sat next to each other in silence, listening to the howling wind and rustling sand.

* * *

In the early morning Luke had awoken Rey, saying it was time to build her lightsaber. Yet, he informed her _she_ needed to be one to find the parts for it. When asked what parts a lightsaber needed, Luke told her it was up to her to decide.

Once again, Rey was out there in the sands of Jakku, scavenging for parts. Momentarily it was like nothing had changed yet once the pieces started adding up she realized after today, everything would be changing. The lightsaber wasn't a rite of passage for her necessarily. It was a weapon that she needed if she wanted to stop Kylo Ren. She wondered if Skywalkers would constantly make it a habit to fight their own family. If she were in a different mindset she might have found it amusing. For now, it was just another reason she didn't want to be tied to the Skywalker name.

Upon her arrival, everyone was waiting for her in the Falcon. Leia stood beside Luke, smiling softly at her, utterly proud. Chewie stood behind Luke and Leia and gave a soft roar of encouragement, followed by a beep and whistle from R2-D2 as C-3PO shifted from one foot to the other in excitement. She had to admit she was excited about this too.Finn, of course couldn't hold back his grin of excitement, completely enthralled by Jedi customs. Phasma, as always was difficult to read as she leaned against the wall of the Falcon, but she held a brightness in her eyes that comforted Rey.

With an exhale she sat down cross-legged, looking up to Luke for what to do next.

“Lay out all the necessary items.” He said, motioning to the floor before her.

She started to remove items from her pouch, not exactly sure what she needed during her scavenge but Luke had reassured her to let the Force guide her. So when she felt she had grabbed everything she needed to grab, she headed back to them and here she was. Finally, she set the crystal down in the middle of it all.

Her eyes went back to Luke.

“Okay, close your eyes. Concentrate. Reach out to the items you have before you. Let the Force run through you and onto them. Let the Force speak to you.”

Letting out a shaky breath, Rey began.

After a moment, the items started to levitate, save for the crystal. A hilt started to form from left to right, only then the crystal moved to be encased in it. Rey extended her hand toward it as the final piece found its fit. The color of the hilt was not unlike her staff, a dark bronze with a tan cloth wrapped around the grip. Closing a fist around the saber and turning her hand down, she ignited it.

The color of the two sabers filled the room, revealing not only a crystal strong enough to power two light emitters but it was composed of two different colors. On one end, a deep blue, a classic color of the Jedi. The other end however emitted a bright red and a pang of shame hit Rey and she looked up to Luke, preparing to see a look of disappointment.

Instead, Luke was smiling as gentle as always without a hint of surprise or anger.

"Oh dear," C3PO was the first to break the silence followed by a scolding set of beeps from R2-D2.

In a swift motion, they were once again filled with the dim light of the Falcon. Rey held out the lightsaber as far away from her as she could, scrambling to her feet. Eyes wide, they darted from Luke to Leia to Finn to Phasma then back to Luke.

“Why did it do that? D-Does it mean something?” Rey’s words came out in a pant. She was close to just chucking the lightsaber into the sand dunes, have it be buried underneath for no one to unleash because red was the color of the First Order, the Empire, the _Sith_.

“Rey,” Luke breathed, stepping forward, hand stretched out to her. His hands reached the lightsaber, but only to cover over her hands. “Take a breath.”

Rey looked at Luke, her breathing starting to settle. “But the color -”

“It’s as much blue as it is red. You’ve got both parts in you.” He gently began to push her hand down, coming closer. “You are my daughter after all. You are the one to bring balance to the Force.”

“What?” She whispered, a grimace on her face, unable to really listen as she currently was freaking out.

“Everything will be fine, Rey. I promise.”

If her father was anything, he was comforting in moments where Rey didn’t think she could ever relax. Giving a small shake of her head, she lowered the lightsaber completely, hand trembling around it before ultimately clasping it to her side, reminding herself of the other lightsaber she had on her. Eyes low she reached for Luke’s lightsaber, inhaling deeply in an attempt to compose herself, needing to push down these feelings and settle on something else, something positive.

Luke had stepped aside but reached out to touch a hand on Rey’s arm for comfort, even if she tensed at it, still not at the level where they can pretend to be loving father and daughter. She knew little of him and he knew nothing of her.

Her eyes landed on Finn, who looked as if he had just been told the news, completely empathetic to Rey. She gave him a trying smile and walked toward him. He straightened up, but still gave her a look of concern.

“This is yours.” Rey held out Luke’s lightsaber.

His brows shot up as his jaw slackened at Rey’s words. He reached out for the lightsaber but stopped himself from grabbing it.

“Really? Is that okay?”

He looked behind her to Luke who gave no argument and instead looked at Rey curiously.

“I want you to have it, Finn. Until we find your own at least.”

At his small grin, her own smile widened. He happily took it in his hand, twirling it, before hanging it on his belt loop, his hands coming to rest on his hips after. Rey couldn’t help but smile at the sight of him, a bit envious that he got so much joy out of this while Rey was still struggling to be convinced of the Jedi ways and using the Force. She may not have been the only potential Jedi now, but she was supposed to be the one to bring balance to the Force? Somehow that held much more pressure.

Her stomach knotted at the thought of it and she was glad when her eyes fell on Phasma who softly gazed at her.

“I’m afraid I’m all out of lightsabers,” Rey teased.

Phasma let out a huff of a laugh, crossing her arms. “I’m good, thanks.” She gave a one-sided shrug as she tilted her head. “For now at least.”

That seemed to put the room in the better mood and for that moment, Rey supposed she could put off the worrying over something as stupid as the color of her blade. It didn’t matter where you came from nor what weapon you had. Good people would do good things. She had to believe that. People were capable of great change.

Yet, it wasn’t always for the better.

* * *

Leia wasn’t quick to give up trying to reach the others on the new base, busying herself with contacting Poe. Rey sat with her in the cockpit of the Falcon for the rest of the afternoon, trying to give whatever mechanical advice she could, but Rey wasn’t really sure what to do in this situation but didn’t feel good leaving her all alone. Not to mention she didn’t feel like spending time with Luke, worried he might start chatting her up about the Jedi and she wouldn’t be the person to bring down Finn’s happiness.

So she stayed there if only for moral support.

She was sure Finn was bothering Luke to learn more about the Force - Rey had never seen him so excited before. She wasn’t sure what Phasma was doing and truth be told had been avoiding her a bit. This flurry of feelings were proving to be annoying and she knew they couldn’t possibly be reciprocated and she wished even more that she didn’t feel them in the first place. The droids had left the cockpit after Leia had gotten frustrated with them, Chewie keeping them busy in the meantime. Maybe they were off with Luke as well.

With a sigh, Leia finished her transmission once more and leaned back into her seat. Rey only kept her eyes on Leia, watching as she momentarily shut her eyes only to open them again, taking in the area.

“It’s been a while since I was in here.” Her eyes ran over every flashing light, long having memorized it. The next sigh was longer, her shoulders falling with it. “Never without Han in here.”

Rey lowered her head, not having thought about Han for a while, but his name brought a deep pain within her as she remembered witnessing his death.

“He would have been proud, seeing you behind his ship, becoming a Jedi like Luke.” Leia gave a brief smile, looking off into the distance only to drop her head. “It’s unbearable that his last experience was betrayal. Betrayal that I let him walk right into.”

Rey reached out to touch Leia’s shoulder. Her eyes watering with her, face trying to hide the strong emotions that were starting to overcome her. “Han wouldn’t blame you, Leia.”

“No, that idiot would blame himself.”

That got a smile out of both of them and Rey was glad to see one on Leia after so long. She chewed on the inside of her lip, a question building in her mind and she wasn’t so sure she wanted to ask it.

“It’s incredible how you two found each other and fell in love.” Maybe Rey was romanticizing it a bit, after all she just heard things from Chewie.

Leia’s scoff said it all.

“You make it sound as if it was easy.”

Rey frowned, trying to choose her words carefully. She played with the hem of her sleeve, looking down at her lap.

“It mustn't have been. Being in the middle of war and all.” She picked up her head to look at Leia. “How'd you do it? Pursue it during a dark time.”

Leia glanced over at Rey, tilting her head, regarding her.

“If you can't make time for love during war, when _can_ you? Waiting until peace, waiting at all… it just delays what you want. I didn't think I had the luxury to wait. We were constantly put in danger. I didn't know if I had tomorrow so I wanted to take today.”

Rey nodded, eyes falling, not wanting to meet her stare, afraid Leia would figure it out. She fidgeted with a stray strand of hair, pushing it back.

“I never thought of it that way. I just felt it'd be selfish, focusing on something that wasn't for the _greater good_.” Rey said the last words with a weak flourish in her voice.

“Rey, I know you have a lot of pressure on your shoulders but never sacrifice your own happiness. As a General I've learned there'll always be conflict but making a deep connection with someone? You can easily lose it while prioritizing something else.”

They met eyes for a moment and Rey only looked away to consider Leia's words, lips pursing in thought.

* * *

A light orange covered the sands of Jakku. Rey walked through it with ease, having grown used to the sinking footsteps in the sand. Phasma, albeit trying not to let it show, lifted her legs up much higher than they needed to be and looked about ready to topple over. Rey watched with lightness in her eyes, letting out gentle laughter as Phasma tried to better balance herself with her arms out.

Her height was so overreaching that it blocked the strong beam of the sun, giving her light blonde hair a beautiful glow.

As gorgeous as this setting was, littered debris from a war ruined any further beauty.

Rey extended a hand toward Phasma. “Come on.”

Phasma’s hand takes her's and the two of them tread closer to the fallen AT-AT. Phasma’s balance improved and Rey can’t imagine what it must have been like under heavy armor and without the freedom to walk as ridiculous as you can. Phasma would have had to walk a bit more poised as a Captain. It’s endearing, really, the way Phasma has let that persona go.

“You slept in this?” Phasma asked, just slightly out of breath, eyes squinting as her eyes ran over the machine.

Rey nodded. “I used to sit right there, just watching ships go by. I’m sure my spot is already taken by someone so I won’t show you up close, but… that was my life for a long time.”

Phasma said nothing, instead imagining what it must have been like. While she wasn’t found of this world full of sand, it seemed Rey had once called it home and that always held something in a special place in your heart.

“I know, it’s really pathetic.”

Jerking her head to Rey, she tugged on her hand that was still in hers.

“It’s not.”

Rey lowered her head, shoulders sagging as she stepped closer to Phasma. “C’mon, Phas,” she spread her arm out. “Look at this place. It’s a graveyard. People here don’t live, they just survive. It’s sad.”

Phasma’s lips formed a thin line as she pursed them, brows knitting together as she looked down at Rey who avoided her eyes.

“It’s a place where an awful thing happened, yes. There’s reminders everywhere. Yet, a community grew back from it. They may not make the most noble of livings, but they keep going in spite of it all. It’s a place of restoration, of growth after destruction. Creating a place to live in machines of war, it’s - it’s beautiful. A sign of resiliency.”

Rey blinked, taking a moment to realize what Phasma had said. Everyone always had a disparaging comment about Jakku and she couldn’t blame them when people like Unkar Plutt and his thugs took over the place. How could a hostile planet like this ever be beautiful? Most people didn’t have anything to eat. Yet, this had been home. This had been all she’d known. For someone to acknowledge there was something to like about the place other than the comfort of familiarity, made Rey feel like there was something good about this place. That she hadn’t been sent to this planet carelessly, as punishment, which she often thought of growing up.

She couldn't keep her eyes from watering and she wanted to keep looking away from Phasma, but instead picked up her head, watching as the sun now gifted light around Phasma’s shoulders. As Rey’s eyes adjusted to the shadow, she saw those blue eyes that were only just beginning to give into small expressions of emotion.

The orange sky began to fade into a pinkish color.

“Thank you,” she spoke, almost silently and despite the whistling winds and moving sand, it still reached Phasma’s ears.

The brush of warm fingers against her cheek caught her off guard and she only hoped it wasn’t visible. Her mouth opened to let out a breath and suddenly she forgot how to breathe through her nose as the fingers moved just underneath her jaw, a thumb still stroking against her warming cheek. A slight pressure under her chin clued Rey in to lift up her head even further. With a slow blink, Phasma inched closer.

“Rey, can I -”

Phasma’s question was cut off by Rey throwing an arm around her neck, using Phasma to pull herself up, silencing her question with a kiss.


	10. Infinity Times Infinity Times Infinity

The roar of a departing ship pulled their lips apart, but they maintained a close distance as they watched the ship leave Jakku. Despite neither one saying a word, the sound had struck fear in them, bringing a hard realization to mind.

They were waiting for the First Order.

This was by far their most dangerous move. Who knew how many troopers might show up? Who knew who might die in this battle alone, much less in the entirety of this war with the First Order?

Soft eyes gazed into each other as they turned their attention away from the ship.

“We should head back to the Falcon.” Phasma whispered and for a moment neither made a move to leave until finally, Rey unwrapped her arms from Phasma’s shoulders and Phasma let go of Rey's waist, both reclaiming their distance.

Rey brought her bottom lip into her mouth, heart pounding in a way she only felt when she first flew the Falcon, when she faced Kylo Ren at Starkiller. The kiss, instead of clarifying things only served as further confusion. Yet, neither of them had turned away from it. That alone had to have meant something. An interest neither had fully explored before - but was now the right time to do it?

Phasma still struggled walking with the rise and fall of the sand and Rey reached out for her hand once more. This time, it felt different. Their fingers interlocked and the struggle maintaining Phasma’s balance led to their arms swinging back and forth, even after Phasma found her footing.

The whole walk back to the Falcon was filled with silence, the rustling sand and its crunch underneath their feet the only sound, but the silence wasn’t uncomfortable. The unspoken was filled with hope instead of dread. Maybe now wasn’t the time to discuss what this was, or what it could be. They would take it as is and maybe after this battle they would have time to discuss what they could be.

For now, they’d enjoy these moments, a walk alone, a hand hold, a small kiss.

It was dark by the time they entered the Falcon and after the day they had, Rey was grateful for some sleep. Yet, instead of turning into her room with the makeshift bed, she kept going until the doors to another slid open.

At the sound of unlatching doors, Phasma stood up from her seat on the couch (it was the only one large enough for Phasma to sleep in). Rey stood in the doorway for a moment before realizing the door wouldn’t close if she stood in the way. Taking a step forward, the door sliding shut, her feet then took another step, and another. She had meant to stop right there but her feet kept taking her closer and at a quickening pace until she was just an inhale away from Phasma.

“I _—_ ” It was Rey’s turn to stumble through her words. She hadn’t a clue what to say, all she knew was what she wanted. These feelings themselves were taking some getting used to.

Phasma raised a hand to cup her face and Rey closed her eyes, back arching slightly. This moment could might as well be their last. Any moment together could be their last. It seemed Phasma too was beginning to understand their finality.

With a small lean forward from Phasma, their lips met once more. Neither Rey nor Phasma were great with words, with expressing their feelings. They had fumbled through them their whole life, had always prioritized everything else, like their survival. Now they chose to put their survival behind their feelings, not knowing when they would get another chance to.

Each movement of their lips was filled with uncertainty. Rey wasn’t sure if it was her bottom lip or Phasma’s that shook, but they pressed on, learning how the other kissed. With each passing run of their lips an urgency bloomed within them. An urgency that was unfelt in their first kiss. The beginning was a taste, this time, they had plenty of time to savor, yet at the same time they knew they didn’t and they had to take advantage of every second their lips touched.

Insecurities faded, both were far more concerned with the warm lips of the other.

Rey was the first to pull back, slowly, Phasma’s lips closing every distances she tried to create only for Rey to end up giggling, placating her with a few quick kisses before pulling back completely, taking a moment to open her eyes. She looked up to see Phasma with the most pleasant expression she’d ever seen on her. Blue eyes were alight with joy, staring down at her with a close-lipped smile just fighting to keep back a grin.

“That was nice.”

Rey ducked her head, pushing some stray strands behind her ear as she grinned sheepishly, knowing her cheeks had to have been reddening by now.

“Yeah,” she said, her voice soft, trying to meet Phasma’s eyes but a bit too shy at the moment.

Rey reached for Phasma’s hand, grasping at just her fingertips. Taking the hint, Phasma pulled back on her hand, pulling Rey closer until she was pressed against her, head resting just below Phasma’s chin. Rey slung an arm around Phasma’s waist, just enjoying the closeness, her eyes closing shortly after.

* * *

As the door slid open, blinding light covered the room in an instant.

“Phasma—Rey!” The latter came out as a slight surprise but the urgency of the shout overpowered anything else.

Rey and Phasma sat up, the two were snuggled up to each other, having fallen asleep only to be awoken by a frantic Finn at the door. Neither got a word in before he continued.

“The First Order is here!”

They rushed to suit up and meet the others in another room in the Falcon. The rest of the group were already talking amongst each other by the time Phasma and Rey had arrived.

“There’s no doubt they’ll pick up the Falcon eventually. We still have the option to get it in the air and get out of here,” Finn suggested, arms crossed.

“No, this has to end,” Rey spoke up, causing them all to turn their eyes on her. “I’m not running away from this anymore.”

Finn uncrossed his arms slowly, watching his friend before looking to the rest of them. Everyone seemed to be in agreement with Rey. He eventually nodded, turning his attention back to her.

“Okay. What do we do?”

Rey smiled, feeling a bit of a rush at being placed in charge. Everyone was looking to her for a solution, even Phasma.

With a head held high, she began. “Alright… we’re gonna need someone in the air. Maybe we’ll get a good signal to call the others for help in case things get overwhelming. We also need that aerial coverage to take down as many TIE fighters as they can.”

“You’ll be in the air then?” Phasma asked, curious about everyone’s position in this.

Rey shook her head. “I want Finn in the air.”

His brows raised momentarily, getting a few blinks in between, before returning to a slight furrow, nodding in agreement.

“And Leia.” She looked to her next. “Finn’s great with the gunner position, I have no doubt he’ll provide perfect support. But we still need someone to fly the Falcon. What do you say?”

While Rey was giving the plan, she still respected Leia’s thoughts. She was a General after all. When Leia smiled, Rey gave one in return. “I’ve picked some stuff up from watching Han over the years. I bet I’m better at it than he was.”

His mention made everyone smile, but also bring to mind the severity of their situation. There was a potential some or neither of them would make it back in one piece. This might very well be the last time they see each other. These thoughts started to overtake Rey’s mind.

“I’ll need a co-pilot.”

Rey picked her head up at Leia’s voice, only to see her looking over at Chewie. He roared loudly and gave a bob of his head.

“General, might I suggest my assistance in the piloting. I’ve got quite an array of techniques and—”

“Alright, 3PO you can come,” Leia deadpanned with a roll of her eyes. R2D2 chirped in response.

“She never said anything about you.” C3PO interjected, turning down to his blue companion.

“R2 as well.”

Rey chuckled at the three of them, hoping this wouldn’t be their last moment together. Rey would make sure it wouldn’t be. For any of them. They would be clearly outnumbered, but she was sure they’ve all faced much worse odds and look at them now.

“Luke, Phasma and I will keep to the ground, take out any troopers that have landed. Deal with Kylo personally.” Rey almost mentioned him meeting a dark fate, but she looked to Leia who really hadn’t spoke about him since they left D’Qar.

“I can bring him—”

“No,” Leia interrupted, bringing her hand up. “If he comes on his own, let him, but don’t give him the chance to betray you like he did his father. Don’t let him get close, Rey. If he needs to be stopped, stop him.”

Rey nodded, looking over to Luke. This was his nephew too, someone he had seen grow from a baby. Rey felt no closeness to him, but she knew these people, even Chewie himself, knew a very different person. Rey hoped the goodness of that young boy was still inside him.

“You’ll be needing this more than I will.” Finn said as he handed the lightsaber to Luke.

With a gentle smile, Luke took it. He then placed a hand on Finn’s shoulder.

“I’ll make sure to bring it back to you, son.”

Finn ducked his head, a little bashful around Luke. It was clear he looked up to him so much. Rey smiled at the sight. Wishing she too admired the man before her, but that was all he was. A man. Her father. Any mysticism he had was long gone.

A soft roar caught Rey’s attention next. Chewie had come up to Phasma and despite her height she seemed to have some apprehension with him being close, taking a step back and hunching her shoulders just slightly.

In his hands he held his bowcaster. He lifted it and moved it toward Phasma, handing it over. She actually leaned back, to which he roared in response, more forceful this time.

“He wants you to take it.” Rey translated.

Phasma looked from Rey to Chewie.

“Are you sure?”

Chewie nodded and Phasma took the bowcaster. Rey smiled at the sight.

So this was it. After this they’d split up and not see each other until the end, no matter how it finished up. Rey let out a trembling breath, with it her doubts.

“Everyone know what to do?” She asked, looking around for nodding heads and muttering affirmations.

“We can do this.” She said. “There may be more of them out there, but no one in the First Order has heart like we do. Not to mention they’re really terrible on the sand,” Rey muttered making the group chuckle, hopefully easing any worries.

“For the Resistance.” Finn spoke up, bringing his fist up.

“For the Resistance!” They all cheered  in unison with a raised fist.

* * *

It didn’t take much traversing through the sand for them to come across troopers. Phasma had spotted them first. Made them out between the skeletons of machinery and the moving sand, their armor having reflected the moonlight.

With proficiency, Phasma aimed that bowcaster and shot them out before they even knew what hit them. Given that Luke and Rey only had lightsabers it was probably best to leave it to Phasma as much as they could. Something, she appeared to have no problem with as she silently took charge.

As they moved further, they ducked behind a large piece of debris. Phasma peeked out, eyes squinting in the darkness. She looked over at Rey.

“Have you got the quadnocs?”

Reaching into her bag, Rey pulled them out and Phasma used them to get a better view. At the sight she let out a sharp breath before returning to the cover of the debris, setting down the quadnocs.

“There’s more coming. A lot more.”

Rey reached for the quadnocs, gently pulling them out of Phasmas hands, taking a look from herself. There definitely was a group of stormtroopers up ahead, ten, maybe fifteen, closing in quickly. She then caught sight of something in the sand.

“Oh!” She exclaimed, pulling away and handing over the quadnocs back to Phasma. “You see that smoke rising from the sand?”

Phasma scanned the area and upon seeing the smoke, hummed a response, maintaining a visual on the stormtroopers.

“They’re from some underground gas - I’m not sure what, that doesn’t really matter actually…  but just know that they’re highly combustible.” She looked over at Luke. “Learned that the hard way.”

Phasma looked back at Rey, shooting her an amused but impressed look. To which Rey lifted her chin at, giving Phasma a smirk. Luke looked at the two but said nothing.

Phasma gave one last look through the quadnocs before lifting the bowcaster. She had to time it perfectly. Have the troopers close enough to take most if not all at once. Too early and they’d still be left with a large group. Too late and she’d lose her chance completely.

A single bolt fired through the air, coming closer and closer until it made contact with the ground, creating an explosion that lit up the entire area for a moment. Despite having taken cover they still felt the force of the blast underneath them

Phasma wasted no time stepping out of the cover and aiming for what remained of the troopers as the smoke cleared and all that was left was their burning remains.

Rey watched her, eyes fixated.

Phasma turned to them. “All clear, let's move up.”

Given the faint smile on her lips, Phasma had caught how Rey looked at her.

As they moved forward through the sand they passed a large piece of a ship’s remains. In that moment a stormtrooper jumped out and tackled Phasma to the ground, their shield pinning her to the ground.

The stormtroopers helmet had cracked and Rey could see the singed armor and the charred flesh that the armor exposed. Before she could ignite her lightsaber, Luke did his and pierced the trooper.

Phasma shoved off the shield and got to her feet. In that instant a bolt fired past them. As they turned to the source they saw another fleet of troopers coming up the sand.

Quickly they moved behind nearby cover.

The sound of a engine cut through the sky and they saw Kylo’s ship pass by, landing not too far into the distance. Rey looked at Luke. How were they going to get there when they were currently under fire?

“We need to head toward his ship,” Rey spoke over the sound of blaster shots.

“Go, I’ve got this,” Phasma said over her shoulder as she fired the bowcaster.

“But—”

“Go!” Phasma said, falling back into the cover. “I’ll provide cover fire, don’t worry.”

In that moment Rey wasn’t sure of what to do. She didn’t want to leave Phasma to fend for herself. She had shown such little concern for her life before. Rey didn’t want her to do the same here.

Rey took a step forward, grabbing at Phasma’s head, pulling her down for a kiss. It could very well be their last but if Phasma gained some self-preservation it was to be one of many.

They pulled away, Rey taking a step back.

“Go save the galaxy.” Rey smiled, Phasma giving one in return. “I’ll be here,” she added softly.

With that, Phasma returned to the battle, providing enough of a distraction for Luke and Rey to cut through the sand and finally make their way to Kylo Ren.

* * *

Rey and Luke managed to get close enough to see Kylo Ren in the distance, his back facing them along with some troopers holding shields. There were only a couple of them, nothing they couldn’t handle, Rey was sure of it.

“You got the left?” She asked Luke, eyes still on the stormtroopers.

Luke turned to her, nodding before answering, “On your call."

“Okay.” Rey began setting herself up.

Once Kylo disappeared following down a dune, she headed out to her right, letting Luke do his own thing. She walked up to the first stormtrooper, igniting her saber and knocking him down with one swing. With the next, she came up behind him, brought her saber over his head and pulled him down, silencing him as the hilt of the saber pressed into his throat until he stopped struggling.

Rey had her eyes on Kylo and was going to head for him next when she heard a blaster go off. Her head jerked to her left, seeing that the stormtrooper had shot a bolt before Luke got him.

The sound of an unleashed lightsaber caught her attention next.

As she turned, Kylo revealed himself, no helmet to be seen. Rey’s face scrunched at the sight. He was close enough where she could make out his amber eyes and he looked incredibly pale, the mark on his face having healed terribly. He truly was the worst sight to see.

“We’ve come to talk,” Luke spoke up, to which Rey furrowed her brows at but eventually went along. “There’s no need to fight anymore. It’s time to come home.”

Rey’s eyes fell, wondering what it would be like if he were home, if he had come back when Han came to him. She gripped her lightsaber tighter as she recalled how that turned out.

Luke shifted closer in the sand and Rey only followed in case Kylo reacted defensively.

In her surprise he lowered his saber and actually dropped his head as Luke moved closer. Too close. Rey wasn’t going to let Kylo fool Luke like he did Han. She kept her thumb close to the igniter.

“Talking is over.” Kylo spoke solemnly before raising his saber and taking a swing at Luke.

He might have gotten him too if it weren’t for Rey’s lightsaber to collide into his. He backed away, eyes on her saber, the red of it not passing him. His eyes moved to her.

“I’ve seen the true power of the dark side.” He aimed his lightsaber at her. “You can too, I can tell.”

“I’ll never be part of the dark side,” Rey snapped back.

“You’ll see.” Kylo responded, his voice steady. “You’ll all see.”

Taking a defensive stance, he held his saber in front of him. Rey was the first to charge, meeting his every swings with the end of each saber. Luke followed shortly and they were gaining on him, causing him to move further back. Rey was sure he would either surrender or die at one of their hands. A dark thought formed in Rey’s mind, _I hope it’s mine_.

Rey swung at his legs but he leaped and flipped. In the air he shot out a hand in Luke’s direction, forcing him back into the sand.

She faltered, worried for Luke and Kylo took advantage of that, not hesitating in swinging at her. Luckily for her she managed to block it but just barely. He pushed against her blade and she, his.

“There’s darkness in you, Rey. You don’t have to be afraid.” Despite breathless, Kylo spoke calmly.

“I’m not afraid. Not anymore.” She said through gritted teeth.

She ducked as she turned off her saber, letting Kylo stagger forward. Raising her saber, she was going to strike him down when he raised a hand at her.

“Kill me and you’ll just prove me right.”

His words made her freeze. Long enough for him to regain his strength and force push her back.

Luke took her spot next as she got up, disappointed she had fallen for that. Running in the sand was useless, it would make her winded by the time she got to both of them.

Closing her eyes, she let herself feel the force around her. Felt it swirl, felt it gather at her feet, more and more until it shot out as she opened her eyes. Her arms and legs waved in the air and while her fall could have been more graceful, she was close enough to charge and help Luke.

Rey was more aggressive this time, swinging her dual-ended saber, not caring if it fatally struck him. Kylo kicked Luke away, to which Rey responded with sharp strike, causing their blades to collide once more.

“It looks like Luke taught you well.” Kylo said, pushing back against Rey’s blade.

“He wasn’t my teacher.” Rey gave a stronger push with his blade, causing him to stagger back. “It was Phasma.”

He froze, brows coming together at her words. Rey charged at him once more, getting him on the defensive now. Luke came back to the flight, and as he distracted Kylo, Rey managed to actually graze him, at his ankle.

In a grunt he felt to his knees and rolled out of the way. He shot a hand to Rey first, immobilizing her. Angry with herself she fought to escape his hold, not wanting herself to become victim to it as she has before.

Next he went to Luke, extending another hand out but Luke met him with his own. Rey focused, knowing Luke needed her help. As powerful as he was, his body wasn’t as fast as it once was.

As she managed to crack through Kylo’s hold, he seemed to have anticipated it and used both hands on Luke and she could feel the way the force erupted between them, sending Luke flying back further than he had before and sending Kylo sliding back into the sand.

“Luke!” She called out to him. She took a step to him, but then thought otherwise.

Kylo was wounded, Luke would be okay. She had to believe that. Rey turned to Kylo next, her hands holding her lightsaber tightly. Already she was noticing the night sky turning a lighter shade as she walked to him.

“It’s just you and me now!” Kylo said, getting to his feet but Rey could see him leaning more to one leg.

“This is your last chance,” Rey began, stopping at a distance. “You still have one more chance to end this and come home to your family.”

Kylo let out a sharp laugh.

“You’re not my family.”

Rey gritted her teeth but wanted to still give him a chance. For Leia.

“Yes.” She said. “I am.”

Kylo straightened at that, eyes narrowing at Rey. “You’re lying.”

Rey shook her head and motioned to Luke, turning back momentarily just barely able to make his motionless body in the sand. “He’s my father.”

“He’s your father?” He asked, pointing his saber in Luke’s direction.

Rey took a step forward. “He is. He hid me—from you. He was scared of what you might do to me.”

Kylo lowered his lightsaber and shook his head, his mind trying to process it all.

“Please, Kylo. I don’t want to fight you. Our family keeps fighting each other. We don’t have to be like them.” Rey was earnest in her words, not wanting to continue this Skywalker cycle.

As she watched his face, she could see it soften. She was getting to him, she knew it. Maybe he would give up Snoke and the First Order. Rey lowered her saber and came closer. This may not have been the family she imagined but it was the family she had and she didn’t want to kill her own family. She wasn’t sure if she even could.

“Ben…” she tried.

Kylo’s grip on his hilt loosened as he lowered his head. Rey inhaled deeply.

“I…” He started. “I won’t have another member of my family against me.” With that he gripped his lightsaber tighter and charged toward her, bright yellow eyes aimed at her.

Rey’s eyes widen and she shifted back, losing her footing, cause her blade to swing wildly. In that swing, she made contact with Kylo’s wrist, cutting off the hand that held the saber.

He let out a scream of pain and Rey managed to get to her feet. She kept her lightsaber low unsure of what to do now as Kylo was grunting and gripping his arm. She saw his lightsaber on the ground, surely he would take this and surrender now, right?

Before she can react, Kylo reached out to her and she can feel her throat tightening, her breath leaving her. She grabs at her neck, unable to pry the invisible force off of her. Her eyes look into Kylo’s. A snarl came to his lips.

Rey shut her eyes, trying to focus as she struggled to breathe. Her mind was telling her to focus on escaping instead of recentering herself and trying to override his force hold. Every passing second was a reminder to hurry. She felt the force around her and despite his being so strong, she knew she could do this. She had to.

Her own force started to push back, the grip loosening just slightly. She opened her eyes, meeting his amber ones. The man she met at Starkiller Base was not him. And she was not the girl he had met then either.

With a grunt she pushed back, breaking out of his hold with such force it sent him flying, tumbling into the sand, rolling and rolling until he finally stopped at a clearing. Panting, she watched him struggle to get to his feet. In that moment, she’s proud of what she had done and she knew he stood no chance. If he were to continue, she would defeat him. She looked down at his lightsaber and kicked it aside. He was defenseless and she would bring him to his knees.

As he got to his feet, she took a step forward. He met her step - Rey could see the anger in him, feel it coming off as he took the next step. And then another. And another. She only faltered when she saw him stumble. Brows coming together, she stopped. He started to lose his balance and suddenly Rey’s eyes widened as the ground trembled and he began to sink into the sand.

She took a step back in shock, hesitating before holstering her saber and starting to run toward him. She couldn’t let him die like that. She couldn’t let him die at all. He was family and if she could save his life she would.

Rey could hear his screams, his grunts in an attempt to escape the sinking sand.

“I’m almost there!” She called out to him. “Just hold on!”

Yet the further she moved, the deeper he sank. Tears started to well up in her eyes. She had sent him into that pit. She had killed him. She felt her chest start to tighten at the thought that she sent him to his death.

“Ben, hold on!”

All she could make out was his shoulders and then suddenly he sank further, his arm outstretched, face half covered in sand. Rey leaned forward, a bit too much and took a tumble into the sand. By the time she scrambled up, she could only see his limp hand sinking further and further into the sand until he was no longer visible.

“No!” She screamed with her arm stretched out.

She stood there, breath coming in pants, sweat having gathered on her brow, the sun not wasting any moment to give its backbreaking heat the minute it rose. She could have saved him. Yet, Rey also knew… he was a man beyond saving.

“Rey!”

Turning her head, she looked over to Phasma on the horizon, close enough where she could make out some tattered clothing, some scuff marks, but in all, a Phasma that was on her feet and running (well, trying) to her.

Any guilt washed away as she ran toward Phasma, a bright grin on her face, a happiness that Phasma seemed to share as they met up.

“The resistance managed to get here. The First Order is falling back.” She told Rey, unable to keep the happy news from her, however silence fell between them, just the sound of their pants until Phasma frowned. “Where’s Luke—and Kylo Ren?”

“Um,” Rey started, lowering her head. “Kylo, uh, he’s uh,” she turned around behind her, as if believing he would be there, that sinking sand wouldn’t be what brought the end of him. But it was empty, as if nothing had even happened. “He fell into the sinking fields. I -” she shook her head, looking up to Phasma. “He’s gone.”

Phasma nodded, having been conditioned to take death easily, but also not having much empathy for Kylo.

“And Luke?”

“Luke!” Rey’s eyes widened and she looked behind Phasma, just able to make out a figure up ahead, Luke seemed to be hunched over, but on his feet. She said no words before heading towards him, happy to see he had managed to make it out alive. Her laughter trailed behind her.

Phasma turned and watched Rey, a smile on her lips. The bowcaster hung over her shoulder and she adjusted the strap before starting to walk over. As she took a step, her foot hit something in the sand. Moving her foot back, she looked down, brows furrowing at the sight, an object protruding out of the sand.

Grabbing at it, she easily tugged it free from the sand, having only been dusted over with it. As she saw it in her hands, her brows raised. It was Kylo Ren’s lightsaber. She kept her eyes on it, turning it over.

Phasma pocketed the saber.

 

**EPILOGUE**

 

With Kylo having fallen, the Resistance got the upper hand and drove what was left of the First Order out of Jakku. Tired but satisfied, the team was safe to head back to the new home of the Resistance.

This time, everyone’s arrival was that of happiness, even Leia’s, despite having been told the news of Kylo’s fate. While no one cheered for his death, they all knew what needed to be done and Leia still embraced Rey, making her choice easier to bear, but Rey hoped she never had to be put in a situation like that again.

Although Kylo had fallen on Jakku, the First Order still remained, albeit weakened. Phasma gave all the information she had, but Supreme Leader Snoke was nowhere to be found. While it started to quiet down on their end, they knew for certain, he was still out there. When he finally would show his face again, they’d be ready.

As things with the First Order started to die down (but by no means was anyone not working hard to find Snoke) the fate of Phasma’s future resurfaced. In between sessions with Luke, which were devoted to trying to regain any memories, she spoke with the Republic council, standing in front of them as General Organa argued for a pardon.

In the coming days, they made a decision.

Phasma was exonerated.

In the same time, Luke finally managed to pull something from her fragmented mind. It was a difficult process, one he had to be careful with, gentle and healing. Any aggression could harm her, at worst leave him locked out of those memories forever. Whoever had done this in the first place was a strong force user, particularly in mental attacks. From her mind, he got a word and from that word, they discovered a planet.

While unsure if this planet was where she was from, Phasma still wanted to make the journey to it, wanting to learn more of her past, so she could move on from her past, coincidentally. Of course, with her journey, came some troubles. She and Rey were discovering something between them. Still unsure of where to take it and what to do with it, they nurtured it silently, softly. However, with Phasma going on a trip to find out who she was, that would put a pause to what they were building… or remove it completely.

The Resistance’s numbers were growing but still not enough to replace all that had fallen at Starkiller.

Phasma couldn’t just pick up a ship and leave. While she wanted to seek things out, she also had very much a reason to stay. She had spoken with a couple of pilots initially, asking if they could take her at least halfway to her destination. They declined at the time, but would inform her if anything changed. With that, time passed and Phasma pretty much forgot about it.

Finn had taken up Luke on his offer to become a Jedi, to partake in force training. Rey and Phasma sat in and sometimes participated, but Rey always seemed disconnected from the whole thing. She took advice from Luke on how to better use her lightsaber, how to use the Force for help, but as for following Jedi rules and lifestyle… Rey hardly had an interest.

Luke had mentioned that it was time to bring peace to the galaxy and the three of them were a key part of unifying the force. Phasma considered his words, but Rey seemed to be unable to bare the great burden of something like the fate of the galaxy on her shoulders.

She did take an interest in flying the various ships they had at the base. Poe was more than happy to show her the ropes, just as he had Finn. Still, he never shared the enthusiasm she had.

One morning, Phasma walked past a group of Resistance pilots when one called out to her and as she turned, the pilot jogged over, helmet under her arm.

“Phasma, we found someone willing to take you to your destination.”

The news was unexpected and as she thought about Rey, she realized a part of it was unwanted. Nonetheless, she gave a short nod of her head, adjusting her stance to stand straight, hands on her hips.

“Who is it?

“They’re over at Hangar 238 if you’re interested in meeting them now.” Was all the young woman said, before turning back to her group.

Phasma looked over, unable to see from her position but only had to pass by a couple of ships to reach that part of the hanger. She wet her lips, uncertain of whether she should meet this pilot or go to Rey and tell her the news. They hadn’t really spoken much about it. Whenever mentioned, it would make the whole tone of the conversation uncomfortable and it would be swiftly turned to another topic. Sighing, Phasma took a step in the direction of the hanger, knowing it was better to make sure this was the real deal before having a talk with Rey.

It seemed as if all ships had docked today, making it even more difficult for Phasma to walk around the hangar. Pilots yelling at each other, the sound of machinery, engines, it all deafened her and when she passed toward the back of one, its exhaust kicked out smoke, causing her to cough and wave the cloud away, barely able to see a thing.

Upon stepping out and gaining sight, she froze. It couldn’t be.

The ramp was down and out stepped none other than Rey from the Millennium Falcon. Phasma hesitantly took some steps, eyes narrowing in confusion as she leaned to the side, a smile tugging at her lips as she tried to decipher what was going on.

“You’re not…”

“I am!” Rey said with her arms out as she came closer to Phasma. “I’m your pilot.”

Phasma let out a soft huff, taking a step back and shaking her head in disbelief as a smile came onto her face.

“You’re serious about this?”

“Yup,” Rey emphasized with a nod.

Phasma closed some distance, coming to rest a hand on Rey’s hip.

“You know, you don’t have to. You’re a member of the Resistance. I’d understand if they need you. We’ve talked about this.”

Rey sighed, giving an amused roll of her eyes, but judging by Phasma’s wrinkled brow, she knew she was being serious.

“I want to, Phasma. Escaping Jakku was hard, but now I know there’s more for me than one planet. I want to discover what the rest of the galaxy has to offer. I want to see more.” She shrugged, her head sinking into her shoulders. “Besides what better than to do that with someone I---” she started to mumble.

“Someone you what?” Phasma teased.

Rey gave another roll of her eyes, shifting her hips to bump into Phasma.

“Someone I really like.”

Phasma’s smile softened and she gave Rey’s chin a gentle lift as her lips came down.

While they initially believed Luke would disapprove, he encouraged it, saying that he and the Resistance will be here when they came back. And if they really needed them, they’d find a way to contact them. Finn was just as supportive, telling Rey he’d miss her so much, but it’d make him feel better about hogging Luke all to himself. With the strongest embrace they’ve ever given each other, they said their goodbye at the hanger. They said their goodbyes to everyone.

They both started to head up the ramp, turning only to give a final look to all the people sending them off. Leia, Poe, Luke. Chewie was missing from the farewell, having settled in Takodana. Rey and Phasma turned back to the Falcon, taking each other’s hand, both taking their first steps to starting a new journey to the stars in search of discovering not the planets in front of them, but the person beside them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's it! Thank you so much for those who have read and commented they have made me so happy and given me more than enough support throughout all this and kept me going. So really thank you, I hope you guys enjoyed it.
> 
> There's a possibility for a second installment but that won't happen until after I see The Last Jedi and see if I can get inspired by it.
> 
> If you're curious, my inspiration for the work was taken from Sleeping at Last's albums Atlas: Space One and Space Two. The title of the work and the individual chapters are taken from lines of various songs. They're lovely albums and I recommend them.
> 
> Lastly, I'd really like to know what kind of things you guys want to read next as I've got no clue what to do next for Phasma and Rey. My next project looks like it'll be in the Marvel fandom, I've been working on an outline for a multichapter fic as well as writing a oneshot but who knows?


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